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How can I get him to help more?

I just started working again this past Monday and I have also been sick for the past month. My husband is on over the road truck driver, but he has been home every weekend this past month. He keeps promising me that he will help me straighten up the house (I have not been to up to it) but then he wiggles his way out of it. I am exhausted and still feel under the weather, but it is like he refuses to help me and we end up fighting over it! How can I make him get off of his ass and help me out? We have been together for almost 4 years and the longer we are together, the less his word means to me...I do not know what to do anymore.

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Asked by Anonymous at 12:11 PM on Jun. 7, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (2)
  • My husband does the same thing! He works nights and he always tells me that on the weekends he will help me out but he usually finds a way to avoid it. (Usually by doing things he enjoys, like working on his boat or fishing) So I definitely understand where you are coming from. To get him to help me sometimes I tell him to put the shoe on the other foot. I am basically a single mom all week, work 3-4 days out of the week and take care of my 2 girls and all the pets and other odds and ends that need to be done. Usually he feels guilty and will step up for a weekend or two, but then I am back to the drawing board. The one thing he DOES NOT do though is complain about our house being a disaster or not having things done. I appreciate the fact that he does not expect me to have it spotless and picked up all the time. I always try to tell myself that it could be worse, but sometimes I still get very frustrated.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:24 PM on Jun. 7, 2009

  • ANON 10:24 cont'd....
    And he also wants my girls to pick up the living room and straighten things up...he gets so pissed when I tell him they learn better by example rather than having him bark orders at them. He doesn't like that very much...but it's true and sometimes that will make him feel like an ass and he will actually make an effort to help...for a week or two. He is quite predictable. His helpful habits never last as long as I would like them to, but i have to tell myself that there are men out there that do far less and don't even want to work to support their family. I hope things get easier for you, just remember, the cleaning and chores will ALWAYS be there. Take care of yourself. If someone drops by and they don't like what your house looks like they can leave or do it their damn selves. You and your family are the most important, clean house is nice, but put it off if you have to. trust me.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:29 PM on Jun. 7, 2009

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