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i feel like i have no say in this.

me and my baby's father are good friends, and we're comfortable enough with each other that we can just walk into each others houses without knocking. so i went to pick up my son one day and i walk in and his roommate was in the living room with my son by themselves. and i went to look for his dad in one of the bedrooms and i open a door to find him and 2 of his friends smoking cigarettes. this pissed me off to an EXTREME because he told me he doesn't smoke ANYWHERE in the house when our son is there. he assured me that he wouldn't do it again but i can't help to think that he's lying (he's an EXPERT liar btw). i feel helpless, and i don't know what to do. my son's health is at stake here and his dad doesn't give a shit. is there really anything i can do?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 3:26 PM on Jun. 7, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

Answers (7)
  • atleast it was in the other room

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:28 PM on Jun. 7, 2009

  • They were in a room separate from the child...what's the big deal? So long as he keeps that room closed, and changes his smoky clothes before going near your child, I don't see why you're so upset.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:28 PM on Jun. 7, 2009

  • sure there is, tell him you won't take him over there anymore til he starts smoking outside, and he has to PROVE to you that he is smoking outside!

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:28 PM on Jun. 7, 2009

  • Not really. It is his son too and if you took it to court it wouldn't do any good. Smoking cigs isn't illegal, even around children. The most you can do is ask him not to, and you already have.

    Answer by lilbit837 at 3:29 PM on Jun. 7, 2009

  • No there really isn't anything you can do. It's not against the law to smoke around a child unfortunately. He's the child's father and he has a say where his child goes. You can say how you feel about it, but I would just give him a chance to make good on it first whether or not you think he is lying. I don't like it either, as a mom of a preemie. I have removed him from many places because of smoking. Maybe he could meet you elsewhere if he doesn't want to stop?

    Answer by Steff107 at 3:30 PM on Jun. 7, 2009

  • Anon 328, she can't tell her baby's father that he can't see the baby unless he smokes outside. A court would NEVER uphold such a request. She needs to be reasonable. He is the dad and is an adult, and can smoke if he wants to. He's not smoking near the child. At least he's being considerate.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:31 PM on Jun. 7, 2009

  • even though its bad to smoke around kids, at least he was in another room w/the door closed. i smoke in my garage when its raining or too late at night and i don't want to go outside alone. and if you didn't notice the fact that he was smoking until you got into the room at least you know its well ventilated and the smell wasn't taking over the house. just ask again if he could please not smoke w/your child in the house, but there is nothing you can do about it. unless your son has some sort of allergy or asthma i don't see what court is going to agree w/you.

    Answer by vabchmommy at 3:34 PM on Jun. 7, 2009

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