Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

first day of pre-school, are parents allowed to stay?

my son will be in pre-school soon and i know he's going to freak out when i try to leave him there. will they let me stay until he gets comfortable? this is going to be a pain because even at home if i try to leave he flips out and starts screaming.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:47 PM on Jun. 7, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (9)
  • Just leave immediately.. Say goodbye, give him a kiss and go. Get it over with.

    Answer by BEXi at 9:48 PM on Jun. 7, 2009

  • i agree, the longer you stay he may think you are staying so when you leave it'll be even harder on him. just prepare him before hand, tell him he's going to go to school and have fun with some new friends. that you aren't going to stay with him, but you will be back (after snack time, after lunch whatever time frame he will understand) to pick him up and talk about his day. but the longer you stay the harder it will be on both of you when you do leave. you can ask the teachers if they will let you stay but most will probably tell you its better for him if you leave. he'll be ok he won't cry all day and IF he does i'm sure they would contact you. just ask if you can call throughout the day to check on him and if its really that hard, stand outside the door after you leave and wait to see how long it takes him to calm down.

    Answer by vabchmommy at 9:52 PM on Jun. 7, 2009

  • Awwwwwe. Itll be ok. You will have to leave him sooner or later so you might as well just do it quick and get it over with. When he realizes you come back at the end of the day it wont be so he will meet new buddies to play with and he will soon be involved with that.

    Answer by angie_david at 9:55 PM on Jun. 7, 2009

  • yes you can stay my son is in k4 and we can stay as long as we want to whenever we want to

    Answer by ilovemyboys21 at 10:17 PM on Jun. 7, 2009

  • As a prek teacher I find it really annoying when parents hang around the first few days. Take your son to school, tell him you love him and will be back soon to get him, tell him bye and then leave. He might cry but the teacher will take care of him and help him out. If you hang around it will just make it harder for the both of you, because eventually one day you will have to leave.

    Answer by fitchly3 at 12:55 AM on Jun. 8, 2009

  • Hopefully you should be able to stay. although I think it might make your child nervous, you staying there... he'll sense something is not " right" and that mommy is sad, nervous, anxious... My daughter is also starting pre-school next monday!I'm scared but i will be brave and not cry until I leave the center, and then I will drive to starbucks and cry some more!

    Answer by psychobilly_mom at 12:00 PM on Jun. 8, 2009

  • This is one of the reasons I don't plan to go to preschool. The one that I would have used goes a step further and insists that you a carpool lane and not even come into the school. I'm sorry, but I like to see what is going on in the classroom, that the other kids are engaged, and that the teacher interacts well with the children. I think it's weird that preschool teachers want the parents out as fast as possible. If I can't come into the classroom without feeling as though I'm not welcome, then I will not leave my child there. I have never had to leave my 2 year old crying at our church nursery. I stayed with her the first day she was in the new room, and the next week, she looked up and said "bye bye mommy!"

    Answer by apexmommy at 2:58 PM on Jun. 8, 2009

  • Preschool teachers can never legally tell you you cannot come into the classroom, no matter what state you live in. However, that being said it is best for the child for you to discuss before hand what will happen, then drop him off, give ONE hug and ONE kiss, make sure you say see you later or something to that effect so the child knows you are coming back and then leave. Staying opens up the room for other kids to ask questions "why is your mommy still here" since preschool has kids often 3-5 the older kids do pick on the younger ones. It also makes it harder on the child since you will eventually have to leave, and the child will more then likely stay by your side and not interact with the other children or teacher. My son started pre-school in January, it was hard the first day but i called 20 minutes after i had dropped him off and the teacher said he cried for about 2 minutes after I left then made a friend and was fine.

    Answer by ba13ygrl1987 at 8:34 PM on Jun. 8, 2009

  • ITs better for you and him to do a drop and leave. They usually recover faster that way. It can take up to 2 weeks for them to be totally comfortable (even if start out okay). Actually I think we had a harder time than them.
    I'd say drop, hug go. DO LOTS of talking and reading books about how much fun Pre-K is etc.
    And then you can peek in the window, call, or come back and look in the window later in the day. (W/O him seeing you).
    I know how you feel but I've actually seen this work not only with my kids but wih other kids.

    Answer by MamiJaAyla at 9:49 PM on Jun. 8, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.