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Help...New baby-DF

I need some advice to help me and my DF stop fighting over dumb shit.We just had Our DD and all we do is fight.We have limited time together alone..And all DD does is cry.We have no alone time...No time to get away.No money..Nothing and it seems like eachother isnt enough anymore.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:49 AM on Jun. 8, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • a new baby is very stressful. do you have family around who can watch the baby for an hour or so for you? you don't have to go anywhere you can sit at home and have a quiet dinner alone, just remember that you both love each other and you'll make it through this part of parenting. if you don't have family or friends close by who can watch the baby, see about getting a sitter that can come to your house for a few hours so you guys don't have to be the ones to get baby, you can still have a quiet dinner that way and you don't have to leave her alone with someone. you guys really just need to spend the time you do have that is quiet, trying to do something together. even if its just watching a 30 min sitcom on the couch. what are you fighting about? i'm going to assume its a bunch of little things or one major thing that keeps getting brought back up. when we had our first we always fought about money, everything came back to CON
    vabchmommy

    Answer by vabchmommy at 2:52 AM on Jun. 8, 2009

  • maybe ur stressed. my df's job and work hours gets onmy nerves cuz if he had a more desirable schedule he'd be home more and we have been hit by bad economy and such as welland it impacted us for a long time and still kind of does but you should put the baby to sleep and maybe shes colic so it may not work but maybe let her cry for a little if she wont stop go to another room and say it and talk about it. dont be mean, thats how i get, it always makes it worse. This will make you stronger
    Dom123123

    Answer by Dom123123 at 2:53 AM on Jun. 8, 2009

  • that until we sat down and actually talked through our worries and our money management issues after that it was much less stressful for both of us. things still come up of course, but we have the basis there to talk about it now instead of skip straight to arguing. so if its one big thing that keeps popping up try to sit down when you are both not upset and talk through it then when it comes up again just remember what you both discussed and go from there.
    vabchmommy

    Answer by vabchmommy at 2:53 AM on Jun. 8, 2009

  • maybe even though its hectic and if baby cries taht much just go hug him and tell him your stressed and you love him...guys need reassurance..so reassure him that you still are there for him

    tell him you feel a little upset and that you want to talk about it but for now just guve him a hug u both probably need it
    Dom123123

    Answer by Dom123123 at 2:56 AM on Jun. 8, 2009

  • Yeah we have family and friends around..I live at home still and he's not allowed to stay...My parents are veryy strict and wnt let us have alone time because they don't want us doing anything.Neither of us are working at this moment but still just making it through.Im not allowed to get a sitter and his family wont help.We do fight about alot of small stuff but then a really big thing from the past alot!So if one of us wants quiet time the other has to stay..And when were both around if we have one help and take her they always still call on us in 5 min.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:00 AM on Jun. 8, 2009

  • you sound young and thats going to make it even harder hon. There is not much oyu can do really but try to keep going. A babay puts a huge strain on any relationship, even "perfect" ones. even if you lived on your own and had loads of money with a perfect baby...there would be issues. hang in there.
    Bearsjen

    Answer by Bearsjen at 3:32 AM on Jun. 8, 2009

  • Stress is really hard on everyone in a family and it is especially hard on a baby. Try giving her some ginger root tea when she starts to cry, and see if that will help her situation, then try to get someone to help you with her. If you don't have any money to pay for a sitter see if you can barter some time with a neighbor so that you can spend some time talking to your husband.
    homealone_10

    Answer by homealone_10 at 4:14 AM on Jun. 8, 2009

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