Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Why do women take men back constantly? If he loved me as much as he says he does, would he be doing this to me?

I have been thinking a lot about my current situation. He says he loves me and that he wants to be with me but it seems like I am the one who is always chasing and begging. He stops coming around and stops calling and I panic because I don't want to lose him, so I call, I e-mail and I ever go to his house to confront him.

He blames his "problems" and "issues" for shutting me out and not coming around. (He is an alcoholic and I even think he is bi-polar.)

He says that he needs time to work on these things so that he can be with us but it's been two years and every other week it seems like he needs more time because he drinks and treats me like crap then has to work on it.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:03 AM on Jun. 8, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • Watch "He's Just Not That Into You" or read the book. I guarantee either you relate to one of the characters or there will be one who is just like one of your friends. There's some great advice about how to read men and what they are really thinking....and why we sit and watch our phones waiting for him to call.

    Answer by sbastille at 10:06 AM on Jun. 8, 2009

  • I think you're lucky that you know he has those problems of drinking and mental issues and I'm not being disrepectful. In a way you're being given this chance to counsel with him and that should be the focus of your relationship with him. That he and you together get personal counseling and alcohol counselling separate from that, but together as a couple. My partner has problems and not addressing them when they should have been addressed made things worse for a long time. It's harder now for us to get better while earlier counselling ongoing for a long time would have been better yet. Respect yourself first and your kids second. Then him.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:10 AM on Jun. 8, 2009

  • It sounds like a pretty bad cycle. Do you really want to keep going through that stress?

    Answer by ajguinn at 10:14 AM on Jun. 8, 2009

  • ok and tell me why you want to remain in a relationship where he alienates you and treats you like crap? Sounds like YOU are the one with issues. Leave the man alone. Find happiness within yourself and quit trying to suck it out of others. It doesn't work that way. A Bi-polar has enough problems without you clinging on him. Let the man breathe.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:12 AM on Jun. 8, 2009

  • read the book He's Just Not That Into You (or watch the movie). If you've been chasing him for 2 yrs and not caught him yet then maybe you should get the message!

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:13 AM on Jun. 8, 2009

  • My dad is an alcholic (50 years and strong :( )
    You need to remove yourself from him, he will always blame you for just
    about everything. That is what they do, the do not see themselves for what they really are.
    They hide behind their addiction and will bring you down every chance they can.
    If you have children under the same roof with this man. please leave.
    You will be doing your children no justice by staying there.
    My dad belittled my older sister for years.
    The damage he did is unbearable.
    Please take control of your life, after all it is yours, not his.

    Answer by Dannee at 11:57 AM on Jun. 8, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.