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My husband of 4 years cheated on me

He didnt want to be with me anyway,we have 2 beautiful kids together,i kicked his butt out the house due to his cheating and lying ways,I wanted to work things out,but he doesnt helpppp????????

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:46 AM on Jun. 8, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • Let him go. If he doesn't want to work it out then you aren't going to change his mind. I know it's hard and that it hurts. But concentrate on your kids and raising them and you can get through it one day at a time. I'm so sorry :(
    ajguinn

    Answer by ajguinn at 10:47 AM on Jun. 8, 2009

  • Good for you for being strong like that. I should have been as strong. Join a group here for moms like you for extra confidence. Don't compromise your selfrespect or that of you children.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:52 AM on Jun. 8, 2009

  • i'm so sorry you are going thru this. i am also goin thru the same thing, four yrs two kids and he doesn't want to work on it. i don't have any advice, djust thought it would help to know you your not alone. it does get easier as the days go by.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:53 AM on Jun. 8, 2009

  • I have to be strong for my kids,they need there mommy.But it hurts .while i was at home with the kids he was out creeping with the next...how disgusting..
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:58 AM on Jun. 8, 2009

  • What kind of help do you want? We can't make him want you.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:10 AM on Jun. 8, 2009

  • Move on and start planning YOUR life without him, and realize that there are other men out there. Go on dates, and maybe you'll find a man who will respect and love you and your children. It's possible, and yes, there are men out there like that. Forget your husband, he sounds like a loser that doesn't want to change, so let him live his life, and move on with yours.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:10 AM on Jun. 8, 2009

  • First 11:10. Maybe she wanted to know what to do. Move on if all you have to say is pointless comments.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:12 AM on Jun. 8, 2009

  • I am a little unforgiving, and in my opinion, if you leave, you're gone. Perhaps your soon-to-be-ex has the same opinion. You can't know until you find out.

    Here's a question for you, though: do you want a cheating husband, or do you want the security you think goes along with getting him back? Getting him back, supposing he is ever willing to come, includes the cheating part -- they're not separate pieces.

    The best predictor of future behaviour is past behaviour. This means he is likely to cheat again and again, whoever he's with. And you're likely to toss someone in a fit of anger only to regret it later.

    I would suggest that you stand still for a moment. Don't move. Don't do anything. Don't listen to the frightened voice about all of what might happen if... Wait. Stay still. Take a lot of time to just find stillness. When you get there, look around and see what you have: 2 beautiful children, health, brains...
    LindaClement

    Answer by LindaClement at 11:25 AM on Jun. 8, 2009

  • your in the right step..step 1 get out. he was being an *ss and not thinking about his wife and doing wrong. she tried and wanted to work it out but if the other person isent willing to work on things there is no point. just annoyance, on her part. its hard i know but u can move on it takes time take care of u and kids forst in time u will feel better and beable to 100% move on. ( i did and im now married to a wonderful hard working man who loves me and my dd from the x as i love his 2 kids from his x wife ) and my x has even said what a mistake it was to let me go. but ohh well. my life went on and im more then happy. it just takes time. also make him pay c/s he has to pay for his kids dont let him off easy u gave him a chance he blew it your better then that and u and kids deserve better and happyness.. good luck mama, life will move forward just let it happen. were all here for you. xo
    tabbys4

    Answer by tabbys4 at 11:31 AM on Jun. 8, 2009

  • I don't agree with immediately ending your marriage. Why give up so easily on something that you vowed to stay in "for better or for worse?" Sorry, but this is the "for worse" part.

    Trust me, marriages that stay together for 50 years don't get through without some major problems. And I would guess that most marriages have a physical or emotional affair somewhere in there. Many couples forgive and work through it.

    WHY did he cheat and HOW did he cheat? Was it a one night stand or an emotional relationship? Have you two been having problems? Or did he just want to get his hoo-hoo wet?

    Did you try counseling? Did you ask him if he wanted to work on it? Are you willing to work on it?
    Cavalrybaby02

    Answer by Cavalrybaby02 at 11:43 AM on Jun. 8, 2009

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