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Planning, any advice.

I have an 18 month old daughter, and know that I want another child. The problem is that my husband is getting ready to deploy at the end of August. He was gone my entire pregnancy the first time, home for the birth while on leave, then gone the first six months of my dd's life. This deployment is only going to be a year, but I really don't want to be pregnant again with him gone. Not because I can't, I just want him to be part of the process. In addition if I wait until he gets home, there is going to be a re adjustment period. My dd is going to have to get used to daddy being home, and I don't want to get pregnant right away, until she is re adjusted to him being home, so she doesn't feel like she is losing her mommy and being pushed out of my lap. If I wait and take those factors into consideration, my children will be almost five years apart. I really didn't want that kind of age gap between them. Suggestions please?


Asked by Anonymous at 11:57 AM on Jun. 8, 2009 in Trying to Conceive

This question is closed.
Answers (1)
  • We have babies for our own reasons, not our children's reasons, yes?

    I would duck out of the idea of being pregnant for the time away, too, but mostly because being pregnant while having a toddler at home is not the same as being pregnant without a toddler at home -- so much more exhausting!

    Your daughter will be in touch with dad the whole time he's away, yes? When he gets home, it's only a few weeks for things to settle down (I always found the dad doesn't understand the scope of what the kid is allowed to do, and has to be encouraged to stop talking and start observing before making any pronouncements about the 'rules' )...

    And, she won't be 18mo, then. She'll be nearly 3... which is a very different sort of kid than 18mo. With 9 months before the arrival, and a determination to make room to share the lap instead of pushing anyone off, she'll have adapted to both dad and the idea of the new baby, before 4.

    Answer by LindaClement at 12:10 PM on Jun. 8, 2009