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empty nest syndrome???

Has anyones kids ready to go off to college? Both of my kids are leaving in the next 2 months and I have depression, but starting to feel more depressed. I am glad for them, but depressed about being alone all day and not seeing them.

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laney45

Asked by laney45 at 12:47 PM on Jun. 8, 2009 in Adult Children (18+)

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Answers (14)
  • I SUFFERED FROM THIS SYNDROME FOR A LONG TIME, I STILL HAVE ONE IN THE UNIVERSITY THAT WILL BE GRADUATING THIS SUMMER, AND COMING BACK HOME UNTIL HE CAN GET A JOB AND CAN AFFORD TO MOVE OUT. NOW IS THE TIME TO FIND YOURSELF SOME HOBBY OR VOLUNTEER OR HAVE SOMETHING TO DO JUST FOR YOU FOR A CHANGE! LETTING GO I ONE OF THE HARDEST THINGS I HAVE EVER DONE, IT IS THE CYCLE OF LIFE, NOW YOU WILL LIVE THROUGH THEM INSTEAD OF FOR THEM.
    older

    Answer by older at 3:07 PM on Jun. 8, 2009

  • I guess it is a challenge, there is not much to do where I live, my job is going out of business and at my age it is hard to make friends. it was easier when we were younger. I hope I can find things to do. I will miss them.
    laney45

    Answer by laney45 at 3:32 PM on Jun. 8, 2009

  • LANEY45, WENT TO YOUR SITE, AND YOU DO NOT LOOK AS OLD AS YOU FEEL. OF COURSE YOU WILL MISS THEM, YOU MOLDED THEM THEN YOU HAVE TO LET GO. USE THIS TIME TO RECONNECT WITH HUBBY, THINK OF YOURSELF FOR A CHANGE, JOIN A GYM GET FIT, GET HEALTHY. THIS IS JUST ANOTHER PHASE IN YOUR LIFE THAT YOU ARE ENTERING, YOU CAN NOW START TO BE THE FRIEND INSTEAD OF THE PARENT. YOU WILL BE JUST FINE!!!!
    older

    Answer by older at 3:45 PM on Jun. 8, 2009

  • I appreciate it. I am 47 since I joined Cafe Mom. I know I do need to join a gym, have put on some pounds. Just got very lazy. My husband works all day then comes home and does homework, he is getting his Ph-d, so he has plenty to do. I went back to school to become a Vet. Tech, but have the summer off. I guess I am just feeling sorry for myself, I have bad depression. Need to go back to my dr. I guess to talk.

    Thank you
    laney45

    Answer by laney45 at 4:07 PM on Jun. 8, 2009

  • wow, I never understood ENS myself. I was so thrilled when my kids left ( and they were great kids, no major problems or anything). I just wanted my life. I had put my life on the back burner to take care of them (single mom) and I wanted MY time. I went back to school, I did volunteer work, I started dating again, I found "me" again. that was amazing. I love my kids but I was ready for them to get out and find their fate in life.
    My mom didn't want the ENS thing and kept pulling me back bc she was lonely. I lost a scholarship and many wonderful opportunities bc she was selfish and didn't want to be alone. I always resented her for that. By the time she did let go of me I was older and had kids and responsibilities so my chances to find my own fate were limited. I settled and was very angry I let her guilt me into fulfilling her needs and not my own.
    Look at this as an adventure. Reconnect with hubby. Have some fun
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:35 PM on Jun. 8, 2009

  • Make plans to stay busy. Volunteer if you need to. That's a wonderful way to fill your days and also to help others. There are lots of lonely people around retirement and nursing homes, and they do a lot of fun things there, too. Reconnect with old friends. Plan a shopping trip with someone. Join a foster grandparenting program if you enjoy being with younger children. If you don't work and could use the extra income, there are the Home Insteads and other senior care organizations that take care of people in their homes.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 9:32 AM on Jun. 9, 2009

  • My mom had it bad too. I am one of 9 kids in the family...so what did we do to make her feel better...We are started having grandkids. there are 9 grandkids for her to play with now... and 3 the sibling haven't even started. It will get better... Just hanging in there.
    ggiovanni

    Answer by ggiovanni at 10:56 AM on Jun. 9, 2009

  • I am going to read again- used to alot before having my 1 and only child- lol- adult- 2009 high school graduate. I am sooo excited not to worry about her soooo much- yea for "me" time again. and to clean out the old stuff in storage unit. lol. now to get away from computer to actually read. lol.
    carol4004

    Answer by carol4004 at 11:07 AM on Jun. 9, 2009

  • My daughter left two yrs. ago and my son last year,I feltreally depressed for a long,LONG time.It has gotten better for me though because I know that they need o experience a life of their own,this helps!I do still miss them tremendously,but I try to get them to keep in touch quite often.In fact they try to come out as much as they can on their open weekends!This is a blessing!!!I get to do my motherly duties all over again,and I don't feel so bad about them being gone.Give it tim,it will get easier!
    momz1970

    Answer by momz1970 at 5:12 PM on Jun. 9, 2009

  • My youngest will be leaving for college in August. I am feeling sad and happy at the same time. Sad because I wont see him everyday, but happy because he is starting on a new journey.

    My oldest is getting married September 2010. So I will have things to do, and plans. Ask me after he gets married how I am doing.
    PestPatti

    Answer by PestPatti at 8:11 PM on Jun. 9, 2009

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