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Its already begun..... What would you do???

My sister lives next door. We don't see eye to eye on, well, anything really. We had a falling out about a year ago because I am tired of her being unappreciative for all I did for her (A LOT), manipulative, controlling, etc. But, her daughter and my kids play together constantly. Now school is out, and my niece is at my house all the time! I don't mind her being here, but DH is laid off, we are broke, and on average I feed her one meal a day. So far I've fed her 3 this week and its only Monday afternoon! I don't want to tell her to go home and eat if they ask me for something, but I'm tired of doing for someone who takes advantage of me!! And I'm tired of running out of food! What would you do???

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:54 PM on Jun. 8, 2009 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • Separate your emotions towards your sister and your neice. It sounds like you've already answered your own question - send the neice back home and your daughter won't be able to play with her. Or keep allowing your neice to come by and show her how family SHOULD treat each other, regardless of how you feel about each other. You're setting an example for your niece, showing that family's make sacrifices for each other. If her mother chooses to set a different example, then your niece can compare them both and determine which she would prefer to follow. However, if you send her home, then she will not have you as an example and then will follow in the footsteps her mother is setting for her. So it's your choice, but don't make this about your sister - make this about your daughter and her niece.
    JPsMommy605

    Answer by JPsMommy605 at 2:53 PM on Jun. 8, 2009

  • That's a tough one. While she will always be your sister, you should try to reconcile your relationship with her. Your kids are going to learn the value of family from yours and her relationship. Maybe a talk with her and let her know how you are feeling may help. Before your talk though work out your feelings so that you remain calm and collected and it doesnt turn into a shouting match. Remind her that you dont have a lot of money coming in and that she would help you a lot with a few dollars every week for your nieces snacks and stuff. If she doesn't respond positively, then thank her for her time and just continue to show your niece the same love. I have trouble with my family sometimes and when idon't think about what I'm going to say I always regret some things that were said. We always forgive and make up though. My family is very important so I try to keep that tie strong.
    svdbygrace

    Answer by svdbygrace at 1:11 PM on Jun. 8, 2009

  • While my family is very important to me, my sister and I will NEVER be as close as we once were. As far as the kids go, I just try to be the best person I can be and set a good example for them. I love my niece dearly, and if I go to my sis about helping with food or whatever, I know what she'll do.... She will just tell me to send her home to eat. Fine, but I've been there, done that. She just wont let her come over here any more and I think she's better off hanging out here than at home. Her mom either sleeps all day or is on the computer and doesn't pay any attention to the kids.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:15 PM on Jun. 8, 2009

  • If your sis is too ignorant to realize any of this then I would tell your neice, we are going to have some queit time now, so you need to go home for awhile. Then feed your kids, pop in a movie or work on some summer school studies to have this quiet time. We all need a break. I tell my kids friends this and it works.
    salexander

    Answer by salexander at 1:30 PM on Jun. 8, 2009

  • do they get help from the dept. of human services? if not, they definately should be. you can also go to certain churches and get bags of free food.
    mandielynn23

    Answer by mandielynn23 at 1:38 PM on Jun. 8, 2009

  • I would feed my niece..period. It's not her fault that her mom and you don't get along, I understand that money is tight but honestly how much can one little girl eat? I know that throwing in one or two more kids doesn't effect my food bill.

    luckysevenwow

    Answer by luckysevenwow at 5:15 PM on Jun. 8, 2009