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Death and birth in one service? (Christian)

Yesterday, we dedicated my baby to the Lord at church. We had been planning this for about a month, because my dad was coming to town, and I wanted him to be there. Sadly, the day before the dedication, another family lost their baby, and had the funeral and burial at the church. The mourning family was at church service when we dedicated my daughter. The pastor mentioned that the family had just buried their baby the day before, and that they were grieving their loss while I was celebrating a birth. The pastor and a few members of the church said it was prophetic that I was celebrating life while they were mourning, and that they were going to be given another child. When the pastor said they had lost their child, I immediately started to cry, and I didn't want to do it anymore. In my heart, she is already dedicated, but I didn't want to make them any more sad. I felt horrible and didn't want to put them in any more pain. ctd


Asked by srhmldndo at 1:40 PM on Jun. 8, 2009 in Religion & Beliefs

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This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • You should never feel guilty about celebrating life.  The fact that you sympathised with the grieving family shows you are a person of good conscience. 

    I'm sure the grieving family understood your joy.


    Answer by beeky at 1:49 PM on Jun. 8, 2009

  • How would you have felt about this if you were the grieving family, or if you were my family attending the dedication? I'm having mixed feelings, because I don't know how I need to feel about it...

    Answer by srhmldndo at 1:41 PM on Jun. 8, 2009

  • They were way out of line to say that. How truly unthoughtful, especially for someone meant to console and comfort those who are grieving. One child or twenty, it doesn't erase the pain of losing your baby. Nothing should have been said regarding you celebrating life, while they were mourning their loss. There was no need to point out something obvious.

    Answer by Ginger0104 at 1:58 PM on Jun. 8, 2009

  • I am angry just reading this. I would find a new church.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:03 PM on Jun. 8, 2009

  • It seems cruel to both families.

    Answer by NotPanicking at 2:07 PM on Jun. 8, 2009

  • I don't believe in Grieving death. I prefer to celebrate life. No matter if the child is moments old or a 99 year old man. They have moved on from this life and are in a better place. I lost many a friends and family and have always help to that. If they were here they would rather we rejoice in their memory than mourn in their death. I would think that the other family could take comfort in the fact that you were there with your child. To me it would be a sign that life goes on, that there is always a second chance and that life is precious. I would see this as life telling me that no one can bring my baby back, but that I should look for new ways to fight the pain and move forward, rejoicing with others in their time of pride.


    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 2:12 PM on Jun. 8, 2009

  • Oh my, I am so sorry such a happy occasion was turned into sorrow. That was wrong for both families to have to endure. That was not thoughtful or kind to either families. I would be upset.


    Answer by pnwmom at 3:02 PM on Jun. 8, 2009

  • Bless you and your family --- I'm so sorry that your church was so inconsiderate to both families. It truly does seem cruel. The pastor should have told you beforehand if he was going to do both on the same day. I'm sure the grieving family must have felt like they were kicked in the stomach sitting there listening to him right after losing their own child. Or, the pastor could have talked to the mourning family and explained what was happening that day and maybe they would feel it appropriate because of their grief to stay home that day. It 's not your fault this happened, so don't blame yourself. But, I think I'd consider a new church. God Bless all of you

    Answer by lighthousemom3 at 3:08 PM on Jun. 8, 2009

  • I think the church was very inconsiderate to both families when they said those things. Even more so to your family though because at least the other family had a service for the funeral and so that was their time. The church service was in part your time for your baby. No one should have taken that joy away from you by bringing up the other family. I feel sad that they lost their baby, but how rude for the pastor to try to tie the two together (at least without the permission of both parties involved).

    If anything the pastor went about it the wrong way. I have always celebrated both life and death. In reality death is a celebration too. For Christians it should be a celebration of the loved one joining with the Lord in Heaven.


    Answer by anime_mom619 at 3:17 PM on Jun. 8, 2009

  • While I am sure the parents who lost a child had mixed feelings at your child's dedication, it was also probably a good thing for them too. To be able to celebrate the life of another family member might have eased their burden slightly & helped put things into perspective for them. I don't think they would have stayed for it if they couldn't handle it. So rather than feeling bad, perhaps you should wonder what spiritual message you can (are meant to) take from it? And perhaps turn your feelings of empathy into reaching out to those family members as a source of comfort.

    Answer by nysa00 at 3:41 PM on Jun. 8, 2009