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Is it just me...

My SO always seems to get himself into so crap and I a m always the villian. He allows these in-appropriate relationships to fester with him and other woman, and I end up being the bad person for discovering things, or mentioning them to him. He had a friendship about a year ago where the girl feel in-love with him (he lead her on i'm sure), and now there is this chick that he dated like 10 years ago, and I found a message where he said he missed everything about her (ummm radar radar). I asked him to end the friendship b/c of history I just didn't feel confortable with it, and he says it's strickly plutonic and she knows about me. Well I erased her number from his phone, and walla it's there again! Am I overreacting??

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:44 PM on Jun. 8, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • Sounds like he's not giving up his other women. So you have to decide if you want to live like that. My SO wouldn't think of giving up his connection with other women. I have to accept that. I don't like it but he said from the get go, accept it or leave. I chose to accept it.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:47 PM on Jun. 8, 2009

  • I do not feel you are overreacting. I would not go as far as deleting the number from his phone though. He should respect you enough to want to end it. You need to seriously talk to him about all the friendships and how it makes you feel and effects your relationship. I understand eaiser said than done. I have been there.
    mommytoangel407

    Answer by mommytoangel407 at 1:47 PM on Jun. 8, 2009

  • I think you are overreacting a bit.

    It sounds like you're a little insecure. 10 YEARS ago he dated this girl? What's the problem? Can two people who dated years ago not be friends? I guess I'm in big trouble because I talk to pretty much all of my ex's and so does my husband. We love each other and TRUST each other. We know that the other isn't going anywhere.

    And how do you know he led the girl on that fell in love with him? My husband got a random text from this girl who is 10 years younger than him. And he's still talking to her. She just wants someone to vent to and get advice from. She has a baby and all the losers she's dated have cheated or are in jail.

    The big question is does he attempt to hide anything about his conversations with these girls from you? That would be the red flag.
    Cavalrybaby02

    Answer by Cavalrybaby02 at 2:28 PM on Jun. 8, 2009

  • There's only one thing you can do... accept him for who he is and what he wants or leave. He already made it obvious when he put her number back in that he either didn't realize that you did it or he doesn't care...
    Personally, call me insecure, I don't care, but a commited person has no business texting/sexting/calling etc with exes that they don't have children with if it's not okay with the one they're in a relationship with (commited relationship).
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 2:39 PM on Jun. 8, 2009

  • no your not but you should tell him how you feel if he dont understand go to counseling
    Hyde3

    Answer by Hyde3 at 6:04 PM on Jun. 8, 2009

  • Well let's see.. he took her to meet my kids (8 months ago) without me knowing it and kept it a secret until a few weeks ago, he had sex with her while we were still together (but he said it was over, although he denies the sex calms to me but I know for a fact)... I dunno it's just all bad and I realize that I may need to move on.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:13 PM on Jun. 10, 2009

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