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If you have a feeling that your husband has been unfaithful to you but you have never been able to catch him for sure... would you be curious and go out of your way to find the truth or would you just not want to know?

I have gone out of my way to hang out with these girls that could have very well been my husbands mistress but I am trying to figure out the truth. I feel so stupid hanging out with them but I am trying to figure out what these people have to offer that I don't. It makes me feel really bad being around them because I feel like I am such a better person then these people. I just dont think I have it in me to leave him unless I know 100% that he has been unfaithful.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:57 PM on Jun. 8, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • If my relationship had so deteriorated with my husband that I was sure he was cheating, then I would leave because there would be no foundation left to build back on. It doesn't matter about the rest.
    mrs_pulley

    Answer by mrs_pulley at 1:59 PM on Jun. 8, 2009

  • Why can't you just talk to him about it?
    Cavalrybaby02

    Answer by Cavalrybaby02 at 2:12 PM on Jun. 8, 2009

  • Men cheat for many reasons so it's not about you being a better person than them. According to the book Why Men Cheat, the primary reason men cheat is bc they are not getting their emotional needs met at home. Then of course there is the old reason of sex. Some men just like sex. I know a man who has sex with a different woman every week and chases them every day. He loves his wife, he just loves the chase and gets bored having sex with the same woman all the time. So stay away from those women. Just go home and fix things at home. If your guy has a sex addiction and needs to be with other women like the guy I know then get counseling but quit comparing yourself to other women. He married you. Be confident in that and work from there.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 2:26 PM on Jun. 8, 2009

  • It is just so hard cause I don't understand what I DONT do for him! He did quit drinking two months ago so I am hoping this was something that was happening due to his poor drinking choices but I just have a hard time understanding "WHY ME". I do go to counseling and he does go for treatment too. We just don't go together yet. Marital counseling would not work until he is done with his rehab treatment. I hope this all works out and I can move on.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:40 PM on Jun. 8, 2009

  • If its just a feeling and nothing solid, then I would just keep my eyes open, because it could very well be nothing. And if it is, and he finds out what lengths you went to get the information, he may not want to be with you after that. Just don't lie to yourself about what evidence you do have, because while gut feelings can turn out to be true. Keep in mind though, if you have a history of men cheating on you, you might just be seeing things that aren't there.
    Lesli

    Answer by Lesli at 5:05 PM on Jun. 8, 2009

  • I went out of my way to find out the truth. I checked his cell, got into his e-mail, used the redial button on the phone after he was done talking on it, looked at credit card receipts,etc. I put together a whole file of everything and kept it for proof if he gave me any trouble during the divorce. I still have it all, you never know when you might need it.
    bookworm65

    Answer by bookworm65 at 3:39 AM on Jun. 10, 2009

  • Keep your eyes open but,digging too deep can hurt you and your marraige.I had some uncertain thoughts about my DH ex girlfriend and so I emailed her and asked her about something elese and in her response she told me that he went crying to her confused about who he wanted to be with(me or her) after he found out I was pregnant.This tore my world apart (who knows if its true or not)but,of course when I confronted him I almost lost him because, he was hurt that I didnt belive him and went to her.If you are gonna dig around be prepared for the consiquences,and don't EVER let your DH see your hand.In another words don't ever tell him where you got your info,or let him know how smart you actually are.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:33 PM on Jun. 13, 2009

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