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Marriage

Well right now I am unhappy with my marriage. It seems that my husband does not care about me. He does not seem to want to help me out with anything! So i have to do everything. When i asked him to help me with the dishes he actually said to me that he shouldn't have to clean up after me. Right now the only reason why I am staying with him is cause of our daughter but, I don't know how much longer that is going to last. I can't talk to him cause that does not help everything i say to him enters one ear and goes right out the other. I am just getting tired of his nonsense!

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:43 PM on Jun. 8, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • You say you can't talk to him, but I bet if you said " I am so unhappy right now I'm thinking of leaving you and that's something I never wanted to feel" he would have something to say. Sometimes guys don't get how bad it is. And if something is going wrong, chances are you aren't perfect either (not to judge, but miscommunications can go both ways so if you're feeling it, he probably is too). Bad communication makes little issues like these feel as big as you feel they are. There is really probably a very very good solution to the problems you're having, but until you learn to communicate well to each other, it isn't going to happen. Get counseling- even by yourself- and learn how to talk to him. This isn't worth giving up your marriage over and you have to really look at how you personally can make it better before you can expect him to do the same.
    mrs_pulley

    Answer by mrs_pulley at 4:10 PM on Jun. 8, 2009

  • does he do his own dishes? if not than you are cleaning up after his mess. personally i would stop cooking, cleaning, laundry anything you do for him b/c i would tell him you don't feel you should have to be his mother. have you tried counseling? if not maybe suggest it and if he outright refuses maybe try a separation
    vabchmommy

    Answer by vabchmommy at 3:46 PM on Jun. 8, 2009

  • In my personal opinion, staying with someone you are unhappy with actually causes MORE damage to the child than good. Every child deserves to be in a happy home. And if Mommy isn't happy, ain't no body happy! Whether or not you have been open about your feelings towards your husband in front of her, I think she can probably sense the tensions and problems that are there. If you really want to leave your husband, I would say go for it. Your daughter will be much better off in the long run, instead of having her mom and dad pretend like everything is alright when its not.
    Ash9724

    Answer by Ash9724 at 3:47 PM on Jun. 8, 2009

  • Sometimes men who work all day expect to come home to a SAHM and to have everything done for them, after all they have put in a full day's work, plus they also car for the cars, probably the yard, any household repairs that they can. They feel that they are contributing their fair share by the labor they do and the check they bring in that supports the family, and they are tired when they get home. Even so, if the SAHM is exhausted, which can happen since it is a 24/7 job, then he should be sensitive enough to help. If the Mom is a working mom, then household tasks should be shared even more, of course. This marriage needs professional counseling. Do all that you can to hold it together. And make sure that you get time off every week, and maybe a date night with your husband would help his attitude.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 3:53 PM on Jun. 8, 2009

  • If you won't listen to you when you try to open up, just leave. If he wants you back or wants to be with you tell him to seek counseling and thats the only way you will come back and if he changes. Good luck!
    Ambie0526

    Answer by Ambie0526 at 4:39 PM on Jun. 8, 2009

  • Before calling it quits, try marriage counseling. There could be some underlying feelings between both of you, and it could help you communicate better.
    ap9902

    Answer by ap9902 at 4:48 PM on Jun. 8, 2009

  • sometimes when the bad outweighs the good it's time to pack up and move on. I wouldn't stay anywhere I'm not appreciated but that's just me.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 5:02 PM on Jun. 8, 2009