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What do i do! =( first time mom to be in a difficult situation HELP anyone?

i am expecting my first baby; the father of my baby left me; when i was 5 months; my baby will be born on sept. How can i get him back? or Will he ever regret leaving? i have been very sad & crying for over a month now because i dont know what to do or tell him anymore, i still love him alot, but seems like he is afraid of commitment all of the sudden, I have never been in this situation obviously & i dont know what to do help me please

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:23 PM on Jun. 8, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (11)
  • I would just let him go; you don't want someone if you have to force them to be there. Get your child support though and dig deep down for the strength you'll need to raise this baby. No one needs a man to do this, it's helpful but there are plenty of single Moms out their busting their butts and raising good kids. I'm sorry he's backed out and fear or not, it's just irresponsible and says a lot about him. Lastly, he will most likely regret his decision and might come around after time but by then you won't NEED him and it'll be your choice as to whether or not he sees your baby.
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 4:25 PM on Jun. 8, 2009

  • Sorry to say, but you just have to let him go. More and likely in a few months after the baby is born he will come running back. This happened to my friend, she had hers in May, all of a sudden baby daddy wants her back. Well she grew up and realized obviously he was an ass to leave her. But it's your choice to let him run all over you or try and get over it. Good luck!
    Ambie0526

    Answer by Ambie0526 at 4:26 PM on Jun. 8, 2009

  • Let him be. He may just be overwhelmed..and he could just not be ready for this..bad time on his part to decide this. But you cant force someone to feel what you feel hun. you deserve a family, but a HAPPY one, so leave him be when and if he comes back around you may have decided your past it..you need HELP but not A MAN! theyre two different things. You can get support from friends and family....dont lean on him for ANYTHING!!!! good luck!
    sweetstkissez22

    Answer by sweetstkissez22 at 4:27 PM on Jun. 8, 2009

  • If he will regret it is on him and if he doesn't want to be involved he won't. You have to throw all you love and energy into your baby , I went threw this situation to I was 6 months pregnant, but if he doesn't want to be involved he wont no matter how much you want him too, if it's ment to be it will be just leave it alone and throw your love to you baby!!!
    NicholeAT

    Answer by NicholeAT at 4:27 PM on Jun. 8, 2009

  • Love can be a natsy mother fer huh? But the  truth is if he doesn't want to in with you, he doesn't. And you cant "make " him or "guilt" into being with you. Do you really want someone like that anyway? How long were you together before you got pg? Try to start seeing other people. The need to be with the father if your child can be overwhelming, but if hes an ass you can't change that. Please be strong for your baby and wait it out and see what else life/God has in store for you.

    lostshel

    Answer by lostshel at 4:46 PM on Jun. 8, 2009

  • Check out plentyofish.com
    writeon

    Answer by writeon at 4:48 PM on Jun. 8, 2009

  • I agree - you can't MAKE someone commit or want to come back. If he's scared and Ran from the news of a baby or any other reason, he's not for you OR your baby. STOP Crying and being upset, for your childs sake!!!!! figure out how to move on and let him be!
    maxsmom11807

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 5:05 PM on Jun. 8, 2009

  • you can do this on your own. you don't need someone like that. Just make sure you get child support
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 5:24 PM on Jun. 8, 2009

  • Let him go! He is probably doing you a favor. A man that would leave you when you are 5 months pregnant either 1. Didn't love you that much to begin with and didn't want to be trapped in a relationship by a baby or 2. Is weak and frightened and instead of facing his fear he ran like the wind.

    Focus on yourself and your baby. He may regret his choice and try to come back (it would be for you to decide if he deserves another chance) or he may never look back. Either way, you have a baby to raise so you might as well start on your tasks since you cannot influence him.
    Niki_sd

    Answer by Niki_sd at 6:29 PM on Jun. 8, 2009

  • Many say it and they are right, take it from some one who has been there! Be strong hun, for you and your baby, take it day by day, get help for depression (speak to your prenatal doctor), take a step back, look at the man he is, is he really the man you thought? Are you just afraid to be alone? The pain honestly will lessen in time (not that long either) you will be able to see the man he really is/was and you'll feel better.... especially when you hold your baby for the first time :-) good luck! Stay strong, get help for depression!! Part of your problem might be baby blues (they happen during pregnancy too!) Once your baby is born you will be amazed at how great you feel!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:26 PM on Jun. 8, 2009

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