Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

How to handle an XH who doesn't visit on the days he's supposed to?

My XH is an ass. He has always marched to his own drummer, and the days he's scheduled out to visit his kids, he cancels at the last minute and asks if I can keep them. This happens more often than not. Anything I can do at all to stop this nonsense?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 8:55 PM on Jun. 8, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (6)
  • tell him he either comes when he is supposed to or he can wait until the next scheduled time to see them, no in between visits whenever he decides he has time

    Answer by HisMommySince07 at 9:01 PM on Jun. 8, 2009

  • no really. just stop sch. time and place. and just tell him, if he wants to see his kids on the days he suppose to then he need to show he does by picking a time and place and showing up. If you count on him being there to take the kids, cuz you made plains, then I would just doing that. Make plains with someone to watch you kids so you can go do whatever you need or want to.

    Answer by soonmommyof3 at 9:03 PM on Jun. 8, 2009

  • So, I can't legally file for full custody and win it based on his sporatic visits?

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:06 PM on Jun. 8, 2009

  • okay there is a couple of diff. takes. Just assume he's not comming. Tell him he has to call and give you 24-48 ours notice of plan not to come. In my order I had put in that he would be responsible for all day care costs etc. if he didn't show (b/c he had the baby while I went to work).
    You could go back to court and/or mediation and ask these rules to be put in. YOu could ask for full custody and or reduction of visits. BUT I'd take it REAL slow. I may be willing to put in you need to give notice of coming or not etc. but not automatically go for full custody.
    I'd just put him on a strict schedule, its like a kid to retrain him and no in b/w visits. YOu can also AFTER A LOOOONG while look to cutting visits but I'd take it slow with full custody b/c it could look realy bad on you

    Answer by MamiJaAyla at 9:44 PM on Jun. 8, 2009

  • No, you can't do anything about it. You won't get sole custody because he doesn't show up for visits, it takes a lot more than that. I tried to terminate parental rights because my ex didn't contact us for over 3 years and it was denied. He is the one that will be missing out on your wonderful child. My son is 13 now and wants nothing to do with his father and I won't force him to either.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 9:57 PM on Jun. 8, 2009

  • I had this same problem and had it written into our custodial paperwork that if he failed to show for his scheduled visitation more than twice a month that his vistation would be reduced. He missed 8 that month. The court did grant me full custody. Don't let women who haven't been there tell you that a good lawyer can't get things worked out. As long as it is documented that this is an ongoing problem that interupts the childrens schedule the court will eventually do something about it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:15 PM on Jun. 8, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.