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MIL problems ...

Okay .. I have gotten along with my MIL until now ... I am ready to lose my cool. She keeps telling me that my husband needs his sleep because he's the one "... Bringing home the bacon" ... I am the one home taking care of our 1 month old daughter, so I guess I am just hanging out with my thumb up my A**.
I am trying to just let it go, but I am about to snap. I think I do a damn good job at taking care of our daughter since I am the only one doing it. DH takes the night shift with her fridays and saturdays and most of the time we are at his parents so his mom takes most of it, if she doesnt hand her off to me. He goes off and conviently find something else to do. I have her every day without help.

I am really at the end of my rope with this situation and I mean ready to walk.
I need to figure out how to get him to help me out more and to tell his mom to mind her own beeswax before I get nasty.

Tnx

Answer Question
 
sweetpea118

Asked by sweetpea118 at 12:50 PM on Jun. 9, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

Level 3 (25 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • iwould tell her hey listen lady this isnt the 1920s i deserve some sleep to, my hubby works and i stay home, but on the weekends he'll let me sleep in

    Mamaof2boys0709

    Answer by Mamaof2boys0709 at 12:52 PM on Jun. 9, 2009

  • ugh my mother in law does the same thing. she also argues that he deserves time away! lol he works all day i understand that but i also work 162 hours a week taking care of kids. tell her to piss off!
    AustinsMommy306

    Answer by AustinsMommy306 at 12:54 PM on Jun. 9, 2009

  • I had the exact same problem. You need to address this separately with mil and with husband. You have a right to have husband help you with out mother inlaw's helping to. Do you have to go so often to mil maybe that's part of problem too. counsellling could help too. If you don't speak up firmly with out complaints of what's wrong but say instead what you need then nothing will change and it gets harder andharder to get help.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:56 PM on Jun. 9, 2009

  • Tell dh to stop hiding behind his mommy's apron. This is the 21 Century, here men do help their wives and he needs to say to his mom, mom: " I appreciate your concern but me and my wife agreed upon child rearing distribution of work and it is a joy to help in raising our child, so please refrain from interfering"

    Have him memorize that phrase and practice it so it becomes second nature to him and for you, this is the phrase I suggest: "I understand your concern and that you only have our family's best interest at heart, however from now on allow us to make our own arrangements regarding our family dynamics and we will all can co-exist peacefully."

    If she want to debate or continue her behavior, change the subject abruptly and don't let her real you in back into the conversation, if needed walk away, she'll get the point.
    bebita

    Answer by bebita at 1:01 PM on Jun. 9, 2009

  • First, don't do anything rash. When you are sleep-deprived you are not thinking clearly.

    Second, you need to politely tell her to stay out of it. This is an issue for you and your husband to work out between the two of you in a way that suits both of you. It isn't about her at all.

    misses_nick

    Answer by misses_nick at 1:13 PM on Jun. 9, 2009

  • Your adults with a baby..why is he having a sleepover at mommy's house every weekend? You are no doubt tired and that of course gets anyone edgy, but you guys should sit down and decide on a schedule which entails you all staying in your own home over the weekend and then stick to it. We have 2 babies under 10 months old at home and my husband changes as many diapers and feeds as many bottles and gives as many baths as I do pretty much. I stay home and he works outside the home....anyone who says a stay at home mom has it easy is nuts...I work longer hours than he does but he and I do not have any issues as far as letting people tell us how we should handle things. They can mind their own business or they can do it and I'm going to bed ! LOL We amazingly have great team work....you guys will do fine once you get a routine and tell everyone to mind their business.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:24 PM on Jun. 9, 2009

  • tell her next time that this is his child too and he needs to help you out because it develops the relationship for the future. and btw, if she doesn't like it, too bad. her son is your problem now.
    princezzmommie

    Answer by princezzmommie at 2:15 PM on Jun. 9, 2009

  • Thx Ladies,

    I was starting to wonder if I was the only one having this problem. I always want to say something to her but I start to get angry because I have let it boil for so long. I am going to have a talk with DH first and then see if I can get him to understand why I am so frustrated all the time. Then maybe we can deal with his meddlesome mother. I just have to learn to keep my latin temper in check.

    Tnx again ... Great advice :o)
    sweetpea118

    Answer by sweetpea118 at 2:31 PM on Jun. 9, 2009

  • She does realize that he was there to help MAKE the baby right? lol Geez you cant have your cake and eat it too.
    sk_tennyson

    Answer by sk_tennyson at 2:57 PM on Jun. 9, 2009

  • I have said to my husband ... "You didnt mind losing sleep making this baby ..." . We did make the desicion together to have a baby, but now I have to take care of her by myself lol.
    She will be 2 months old in July, he will have to get his act together by then.
    sweetpea118

    Answer by sweetpea118 at 3:08 PM on Jun. 9, 2009

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