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Have you ever been treated different than your sibling(s)?

I have an older sister and my dad treats her better than me. I can't figure out why, because I haven't been any worse than her. One day I asked my parents which career choice sounded more like "me" and the first thing he said was "Well, there's something you don't realize about yourself..." (He always says that, and I know he's about to say something negative to me when he does). Then he said "The thing is, you lack ambition." "You've always been lazy at what you do." He went on about it, and I disagreed with him. He's been saying things like that to me since I was 10 years old, and I never understood why. He then argued with me and I said "I'm not lazy, and I am ambitious or I wouldn't be wanting to go to college and have a career if I was." Then he said "Why, so you can work at McDonalds after you finish?" Then he called me stubborn for not listening to him....
Continued.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:39 PM on Jun. 9, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • ...and I said "What do you want me to listen to you on?" Do you want me to say "Ok dad, I'm lazy, I would work at McDonalds, and I'll never achieve my goals"
    Then he said "No, all I'm saying is you're stubborn and you never take my advice."
    Um he didn't even give me advice and was getting mad because I wouldn't take what he said.
    My sister started an online college thing a while back, and decided to quit. He encouraged her and said he knew that she could do it. Then when she quit it, he was like "Why?" "You should have kept on and finished!" Another thing is, she hasn't even found a passion. She follows everyone else, and she has chose different career paths because of other people like her SIL. Her SIL wanted to be a nurse, and she did. then her SIL wanted to be a teacher and now she does. My dad has did this to me in every aspect of life and has even shoved my sister in my face. He refuses to see any different.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:45 PM on Jun. 9, 2009

  • I don't see your post continued.
    I come from a family of 8 kids. Yes, I am treated differently. If you asked the other 7, they'd say the same thing. Luckily we're not carbon copies.
    EireLass

    Answer by EireLass at 2:45 PM on Jun. 9, 2009

  • Try to please God not man, he seems partial yes but respect him he is your daddy. Tell him how it makes you feel or better yet tell your mom to relay the message!
    2mothershelpers

    Answer by 2mothershelpers at 2:46 PM on Jun. 9, 2009

  • Well that stinks. I am sorry your father is so flagrant about his feelings. Try not to let it drive a wedge between you and your sister. It's not her fault that she is treated differently. When I was growing up some people in the family preferred my brother and some preferred me. When I was younger it seemed like a big deal, but as I have gotten older it doesn't seem to matter has much. Just keep plugging away at your goals and when you reach them you'll find that a) he can't say those things anymore and b) you won't care as much if he does.
    beckcorc

    Answer by beckcorc at 2:54 PM on Jun. 9, 2009

  • Oh yes! My dad was a good one at favoring my sis over me. I wonder sometimes if it is because parents get along with some of the kids better than others, or maybe because the children remind them of themselves/family members?

    For me as a parent I try to treat all 3 of my kids fairly, but sometimes it is not always easy as they are all 3 different personalities and different individuals with different ages (12, 10, 3), and different needs. My oldest is ASD- -which adds yet another factor to consider.
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 3:00 PM on Jun. 9, 2009

  • Tell him if he can't encourage you for what your already doing, then you don't want to hear what he has to say. Pointing out your negative characteristics will only bring you down. I would tell him to go have ice cream with his favorite daughter & leave you alone. I would not handle that very well at all. Don't bother searching for acceptance in him, you may find it, but you may not. Find acceptance within yourself, don't worry about what HE thinks you should do. Do it yourself & prove him wrong. Actions speak loud. Show him your ambitious without having to tell him.

    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 3:00 PM on Jun. 9, 2009

  • Yep, I'm the youngest of 5 kids so as the "baby" of the family I get my way the most, paid attention to more than my older siblings and doted on by my parents. It's rolled over into my marriage as well, my hubby spoils me. My parents have always been vocal about my role as the baby and since my sister who is next to me is 13yrs older than me and my oldest sister a full 18yrs older than me they also contributed to my spoiledness and for the most part they don't have a problem with me getting my way. They were old enough not to be envious. Wait, I'll take that back my sister who is next to me is more competitive with me as we've gotten older. I get a designer purse she gets one, I go somewhere cool for vaca she has to top it. I shop here, she starts to shop there, I dine here she dines there and orders their best wine. But, I must admit it's fun watching her jumps thru hoops to keep up with me.
    Ladybugkisses76

    Answer by Ladybugkisses76 at 3:09 PM on Jun. 9, 2009

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