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Racist friends

So I met one of my friends through another girl on Cafemom and we all get along pretty well, but she makes racist comments about pretty much every race and I've said something to her and she said she's sorry but she keeps doing it and nobody else seems bothered by it. I don't like it, but I'm not sure how to say something w/o getting into a fight (that's why I don't say anything because I'm so pissed when she says it I have to leave or something). I actually would rather not be her friend but we all hang out in a big group so she's always around. I don't want to cause a rift or anything b/c I'm new to our group. What's the right thing to do here?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:16 PM on Jun. 9, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • You need to tell her how uncomfortable you are when she makes racist comments around you. You probablly won't stop her from making them all together but perhaps if she values your friendship she'll at least make an attempt to stop making them in front of you.

    I know I often joke with people and say things like "I don't like black people" but usually it's around my friends and the like and they know I'm joking because they themselves (as well as I) am black so it's like an off colored joke, but a joke none the less. It's in my personality to make off the cuff statements about my own race but I never make jokes about someone elses; it's offensive and uncalled for and really I could careless what someone's race is - unless you're black and if you are chances are I won't like you. J/K of course....or am I?!
    Ladybugkisses76

    Answer by Ladybugkisses76 at 3:33 PM on Jun. 9, 2009

  • stand up for your beliefs, but do so kindly pointing her in the right direction and towards the Great Maker of us all!
    2mothershelpers

    Answer by 2mothershelpers at 3:21 PM on Jun. 9, 2009

  • racist and friends do not go together in my world...
    mamakirs

    Answer by mamakirs at 3:27 PM on Jun. 9, 2009

  • I was in a group for a while...until i noticed theyre were a bunch of racist rednecks! LOL Hey to each her own..but i wasnt about to stick around and wait for the slurs to hit me on the head!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:34 PM on Jun. 9, 2009

  • If you dont like it then stoip hanging out in that group go find friends that have similar morals and views as you do, since your new to the group it shouldn't be hard to do
    hautemama83

    Answer by hautemama83 at 3:55 PM on Jun. 9, 2009

  • I do not hang around people like her.. I just would not be hanging around the group either.Because of her.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 4:02 PM on Jun. 9, 2009

  • racist rednecks no how does that make sense? that is showing you're racist to whites
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:05 PM on Jun. 9, 2009

  • I find it difficult to be friends with someone who is racist. Even if they don't make comments around me, just the knowledge that they feel that way makes me very uncomfortable with being friends with them, and I also worry that others who know they feel that way will mistakenly believe that I feel that way, too.

    If you can handle it, though, I'd simply tell her that her comments make me uncomfortable, and ask her to please refrain from making them around me. If she can't respect that, then you may need to seriously rethink this friendship, and all of them, if she is always present when you see the others.
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 8:03 PM on Jun. 9, 2009

  • Leave the group. It's obvious that she doesn't care about your feelings. Why would you want to be friends with people who are racist? You need to stand up for what you believe in and not think twice about whether it will cause a rift or not. With friends like that, who needs enemies?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:11 AM on Jun. 10, 2009