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HOW DO i GET MY 19 DAUGHTER TO REALIZE HER BOYFRIEND IS NO GOOD?

hE IS 23,HE WON'T GET A JOB BECAUSE HE IS AFRAID TO GET DIRTY!!!!hE PLAYS VIDEO GAMES ALL DAY.tHEY ARE LIVING WITH HIS BROTHER WHO'S HOUSE ONLY HAS A TRAIL TO TWO ROOMS IN THE HOUSE BECAUSE THEY WON'T CLEAN.THERE ARE ANTS,AND SNKES IN THE HOUSE.pLEASE HELP ME CONVINCE HE SHE DESERVES SOOO MUCH BETTER!!!

 
momz1970

Asked by momz1970 at 5:05 PM on Jun. 9, 2009 in Adult Children (18+)

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Answers (7)
  • i know this isn't what you want to hear, but you can't the more you tell her how bad he is the more she will defend him and try to convince herself he isn't
    maybe if you offer to allow her to move home, she will be willing to at least move back home so you know she is living in a clean safe place. but if you tell her she can't see him or needs to stop she'll just go right back to him. you have to just trust that you raised her right and she will come to the realization herself
    vabchmommy

    Answer by vabchmommy at 5:08 PM on Jun. 9, 2009

  • Unfortunately, if she's like anyone I know, the more you tell her he's no good, the faster she will run to him. Maybe you could take her out to dinner, help her clean the house, show her in little ways what she is missing. Good luck and God Bless!
    kustomkrochet

    Answer by kustomkrochet at 5:10 PM on Jun. 9, 2009

  • AWW, agreed with above...but youd be suprised what feeling loved and happy will allow you to look past. if she feels good when shes with him, where shes sleeping isnt going to bother her!! if shes like you, it will eventually wear down on her and she'll either clean it up wanna move or wanna come home!! but you CANT convince her her bf is bad for her...thats completely up to her. Your on the outside looking in...you have a different view, quite possibly the right one...but its very different than what she sees!!!
    sweetstkissez22

    Answer by sweetstkissez22 at 5:15 PM on Jun. 9, 2009

  • Wow sorry to hear this~everyone is right~ they have to learn on thier own!!
    jules2cali

    Answer by jules2cali at 6:36 PM on Jun. 9, 2009

  • yup, experience is the best teacher. Her eyes will be opened soon enough. In the meantime maybe you can introduce her to other nicer men!
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 3:27 AM on Jun. 10, 2009

  • well momz1970, i really hate to say this but there is no way for you to show her. i am 19 and i was in teh same situation except he was mentally abusing me and controlling me beyond belief. my dad never really speaks up.. he lets my mom do it but both my parents and my uncle had told me for being such an outspoken, bold young woman i was very timid and submissive when he was around. of course love is blind. so those who are in it cannot see. i continued to stayin the mess until i found out i was pregnant on may 5. that week was the week that i regained control and became myself again. i wasnt putting up with any of his crap, his alcoholism, prescription drug abuse, beliefs and his controlling-ness and more! there was an innocent child in the mix and i told him if he wanted to be around he needed to be responsible and he fought me on it so i told him i would do it myself. my child deserves better and i changed my phone number
    Aphrodite108

    Answer by Aphrodite108 at 11:27 AM on Jun. 10, 2009

  • point is... there is nothing you can do... she may end up getting hurt. just pray it wont be bad... or fatal. she is an adult now and will take advantage of that card BEYOND belief! have faith everything will turn out for the best. God always finds a way. Feel free to get ahold of me if you want. -Danielle
    Aphrodite108

    Answer by Aphrodite108 at 11:28 AM on Jun. 10, 2009

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