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I caught my husband trying to by steroids. How trustworthy can he be?

My husband and I want to get into shape. We've been pretty consumed by it. I just figured we would eat right, and go to the gym, and be active, like... indefinately. But, yesterday I cought him trying to buy steroids from an online friend. He was being so sneeky about how to pay and where to mail it... he knew how upset I would be. Now I feel like I can't trust him with anything. And, I'm not sure if I'm overreacting. Technically, he didn't do anything wrong because I caught him before he took the drugs, but I still feel so betrayed. We have two young children and it's seems like such a terrible, selfish risk to take. I almost feel like I can't love him if I can't trust him and I'm not sure if I can. I also found a recent picture in his email account of an old girlfriend posing nude for him. He says she was just beeing needy and it didn't mean anything... but why then did he keep the picture? I know he's not cheating... but?


Asked by Anonymous at 5:15 PM on Jun. 9, 2009 in Diet & Fitness

This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • the picture is strange and i would be upset. i really would. all hell would break loose if i found an ex's naked pic on my hubby's computer or within 20 miles of him.
    the steriods aren't really the problem though, right? its trust? you need to talk to him and tell him that this has damaged your trust in him. once you figure it out, lmk because i'm having a similiar issue with mine. a trust thing, i mean, not a naked ex or steriod thing.
    i'm not much help except to say you aren't alone.

    Answer by princezzmommie at 1:58 AM on Jun. 10, 2009

  • OOO the steriods thing, hes trying to keep up with the notion of getting into shape, maybe trying to take the fast way out...i wouldnt have been as concerned about main concern would have been the nude pictures..i found some of those....made me sick as helll...i knew he didnt want her, i knew she was nothing to him...but WTF are they doing there then!? grr...question the hell outta those..thats NOT okay!!

    Answer by sweetstkissez22 at 5:18 PM on Jun. 9, 2009

  • Yeah, I know he didn't cheat but I do feel kinda' sick about it. Like, I don't feel like I know him as well as I thought I did. Like, Why did he feel he had to hang on to that picture... how deceptive can he be?

    Answer by alibean at 5:27 PM on Jun. 9, 2009

  • it sounds like your more upset about the picture and the steroids thing is just pushing the picture and trust thing more over the edge. i wouldn't be as upset about the steroids, sounds like he was just trying to do things the quick and easy way. i would talk to him about it though, b/c with the kids and the side effects of steroids that isn't a good mix. as far as the picture it would bother me as well, more the fact that its still there. like was it saved somewhere or it was still in his inbox and he hadn't deleted it? the saving it somewhere would bother me more than not deleting it, then again my husband never deletes his emails, so if it were saved it would bother me. i would sit down and talk to him about that, b/c that seems to be whats really bothering you

    Answer by vabchmommy at 6:13 PM on Jun. 9, 2009

  • He saved the picture in a separate folder with some other friends emails. It was months old and had kinky inuendo with it. I just don't understand his need to save it. There was obviously some reason he moved the picture... I don't know... I am really upset about the steroids. He knows that I had an abusive boyfriend in college. He knows it was steroid related. He knows how I feel about it. His email expressed a need to pay through paypal so his "wife" wouldn't see a blank check stub and ask about it. He's never lied to me before (I don't think) and now I am questioning every word that comes out of his mouth. How irresponsible could he be. Steroids cost hondreds of dollars a month... are illegal... are dangerous physically... and warp your mental capacity... make you voilent. And the picture bothers me because he kept it. Why did he keep it? WTF?

    Answer by alibean at 6:43 PM on Jun. 9, 2009

  • I think the best thing you can do at this point is talk to him about everything. Keeping the things that are bothering you locked inside is not healthy for you, or your relationship.

    Everyone makes mistakes now and then, so keep that in mind and be willing to forgive if he is willing to acknowledge that he was wrong. Also, try gathering some information about how steroids are dangerous and showing it to him. Knowledge is power.

    Answer by sw33t_blond3 at 6:50 AM on Jun. 10, 2009