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I am just socially backwards??

I can't stand it when people just stop by unannounced. It just seems rude to me to expect someone to have nothing else to do and be home whenever they decide to come over. I prefer to be dressed and have my house somewhat cleaned when I have company over, so when someone drops by unexpected I am not ready for them. Plus a lot of times I am giving my baby a bath or getting ready to leave or in the middle of something and I just don't have time to have someone come in and talk. People I know drop by several times a week. People from church, friends, neighbors, in laws, parents from my sons school, etc. So it isn't as easy as just telling people to call beforehand because it is always someone different stopping by. I give my cell phone number to everyone I know, but most people prefer to come by instead of call. Usually its just to talk. Am I really weird on this one? Am I socially backwards since this is acceptable to others?


Asked by Anonymous at 5:23 PM on Jun. 9, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • Here in AZ it is different. People are more like you and I where they want a little notice before having guests over. I agree that it seems a little rude, but don't think it is intended to be that way. I guess the best answer would to not open the door when you aren't in the mood for company and if they bring it up later just apologize and say you were bathing baby (or whatever else) and didn't hear the door.

    Answer by AnnaMac at 6:01 PM on Jun. 9, 2009

  • H-No..i think thats rude and people wanna see what your like when your at your worst and most unexpecting. maybe its just me assuming the worst. but the only person i ever dropped in on was my mom and my grandparents...other than that i ALWAYS call..i DONT like suprises, and i dont like to feel never know what people have going on!! show some common respect and make a short phone call!!

    Answer by sweetstkissez22 at 5:26 PM on Jun. 9, 2009

  • With EVERYONE owning a cell phone it seems so weird to not call people before going to their house!

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:28 PM on Jun. 9, 2009

  • NOPE! my hubby and I are JUST LIKE THAT!!! We are trying to have sex or something when people decided to drop by. Anyways,we're always naked and my hubby answered the door ONCE with a shirt held to his "member" and nobody has dropped by unexpectidly since! LOL When he deployed a friend dropped by once and I had a bra and my boyshort panies on... i just answered the door and that stopped all of it! We figure, it's our house, if you don't wanna see anything or get embarassed by it, call first!

    Answer by 07lilmama1108 at 5:28 PM on Jun. 9, 2009

  • i love company any time of the day .. almost! but i would recommend you buy or make a sign like shhh babies sleeping and put that on your front door it should keep people i away i'd think or just be rude and tell them to call before they come over

    Answer by mirit.rose at 5:29 PM on Jun. 9, 2009

  • Just be thankful you have so many nice friends that want to come and see you but I understand your concern that would drive me nuts.I would give the baby a bath when your husband is around so he could take over for a little bit or offer one of your friends to help you maybe that will stop them from coming over.You could always have a pot of hot tea or sodas ready for them and sit them down with the t.v. on while you get dressed up and just explain to them you are kinda busy can you call next time?

    Answer by countingsparows at 5:32 PM on Jun. 9, 2009

  • I think it's rude and I won't answer the door

    Answer by admckenzie at 5:48 PM on Jun. 9, 2009

  • OP

    Thanks it is good to know that I am not crazy! Lol. I was starting to think there must be something wrong with me since everyone else seems to do this. It isn't that I don't like these people, or don't want to see them. I just have a lot going on and like to have family time too.
    I guess it could be worse though. My cousin (who live about 3 states away and who we haven't seen in nearly 8 years) went on vacation about 4 hours from where my mom lives and decided to just "stop by". So my cousin, her husband, and their 3 kids just showed up without notice and expected to stay the next two nights at my moms house!! My mom was WAY too nice and let them stay. Can you imagine? They could have at least sent an email or called, they made the plans (and extra 4 hour drive) but didn't let my mom know about it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:53 PM on Jun. 9, 2009

  • I guess it depends on where you live and your cultural background of whether or not you are socially backwards. When my family lived in the South it was very acceptable to stop by. People are much more laid back and "tightly knit". My parents didn't like it and my mom politely told several people to call before stopping by to make sure we were home. That didn't go over well, and from then on we were known as the rude, inhospitable family. We wanted to be friends with these people and would invite them over often, but people still made fun of us because we were so "formal".


    Answer by AnnaMac at 6:01 PM on Jun. 9, 2009

  • No it is rude I hate having unexpected company, or having people over when my ten month old just threw his toys all over and I havent had that chance to clean them up, for the most part though the only person who just stops by is my MIL and I dont mind that because she doesnt care what we look like or the house and most of the time I know about what time she will be coming by to see the baby.

    Answer by hautemama83 at 6:19 PM on Jun. 9, 2009