Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Does it make sense to stay in the relationship?

My child's father and I have only been together a short while, but he is my child's father and he has been good to me. The biggest thing though is that we are totally different. I have a Bachelor's degree, and he doesn' t even have a GED. My criminal record is clean he is a convicted felon. I know you are wondering how did we even end up together, long story, but he has given me the best gift of all, my son. Even now I am more responsible than he is, its like being in a relationship with a 19 yr-old. Does it make sense that I really want this relationship to work because we have a child together and I have no clue what its like to have both parents when I was growing up? I care about him and I have no problem letting him know he doesnt have to be with me, and he chooses to stay. I also know that he has not ever been with someone as motivated in life as I am, not to say that I have faults too. What should I do, is it worth it?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:32 PM on Jun. 9, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • Long term if you and someone dont share atleast motivation then its not going to work. i think you already know the answer to your own question. no one can make you stay nor go but you. Either way i hope everytging works out for you
    Myni

    Answer by Myni at 8:38 PM on Jun. 9, 2009

  • I think it's sweet. If he's good to you and he cares about his kid then who cares about education level and income level? And all men are immature......so don't let that be a deciding factor :) Maybe you being as motivated as you are will inspire him eventually!

    ajguinn

    Answer by ajguinn at 8:39 PM on Jun. 9, 2009

  • You already know the answer to your question and don't stay with him because of your child if you love him and care for him then see what happens if you don't think it will work then run, run, far, far away.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:43 PM on Jun. 9, 2009

  • I think that all that should be a factor is whether you love him or not. I mean you said he is good to you, so I don't see the problem, unless he refuses to get a job or something. If he is pulling his own weight, as far as paying his share of the bills && what not, then why not??
    HisMommySince07

    Answer by HisMommySince07 at 8:43 PM on Jun. 9, 2009

  • Good lord, could you imagine what it would be like to be with someone who was like you? I couldn't. I think I would die of boardom!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:50 PM on Jun. 9, 2009

  • I think I know what you're saying. You don't seem to be going in the same direction in life. You don't share the same values on education and ethics. Those are issues, among others, that are the foundation of a relationship. But there really is something to be said for a dedicated and devoted man. Does he have a stable job? Does he want the same things in life as you? Is he past his law trouble days? Does he make you happy in general (not quishy love all the time but at least you're content)? If so, you may want to give it a chance because you could end up on the same path, you just started in different places. The fact that you didn't have both parents in your life does play a role in why you may be with a guy like this and want to still make it work, but you don't have to go Freud on the issue to figure things out between you two.

    mrs_pulley

    Answer by mrs_pulley at 9:14 PM on Jun. 9, 2009

  • It depends on whether you see him as a stabilizing influence or as a dead weight. Is he willing to try to improve himself? If not, then you will find yourself resenting him down the line. Been there done that and broke up with the guy because of it. No child involved, but I wouldn't have had a kid with him. And I don't make the mistake of thinking that ANY relationship is worthwhile to give a kid two parents...the most successful kids I've known came from divorced families.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:16 PM on Jun. 9, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN