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Can I trust him? What Do I Do?

My husband and I want to get into shape. We've been pretty consumed by it. I just figured we would eat right, and go to the gym, and be active, like... indefinitely. But, yesterday I caught him trying to buy steroids from an online friend. He was being so sneaky about how to pay and where to mail it... he knew how upset I would be. Now I feel like I can't trust him with anything. And, I'm not sure if I'm overreacting. Technically, he didn't do anything wrong because I caught him before he took the drugs, but I still feel so betrayed. We have two young children and it's seems like such a terrible, selfish risk to take. I almost feel like I can't love him if I can't trust him and I'm not sure if I can. I also found a recent picture in his email account of an old girlfriend posing nude for him. He says she was just being needy and it didn't mean anything... but why then did he keep the picture? I know he's not cheating... but?

 
alibean

Asked by alibean at 8:43 PM on Jun. 9, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (5)
  • You posted this earlier, didn't you? lol, I thought I answered you but I just realized I don't think I hit the button. Poor thing :( I don't think you can trust him and you don't want to put your kids at risk for some kind of roid rage. (sounds like you've dealt with that enough in your life). Also, the whole pic of the girlfriend thing? BULL. He kept that for a reason and moved it for a reason. I think you should have some serious talks with him and tell him if he can't change then you're just going to have to move on.
    ajguinn

    Answer by ajguinn at 8:48 PM on Jun. 9, 2009

  • He saved the picture in a separate folder with some other friends emails. It was months old and had kinky innuendo with it. I just don't understand his need to save it. There was obviously some reason he moved the picture... I don't know... I am really upset about the steroids. He knows that I had an abusive boyfriend in college. He knows it was steroid related. He knows how I feel about it. His email expressed a need to pay through paypal so his "wife" wouldn't see a blank check stub and ask about it. He's never lied to me before (I don't think) and now I am questioning every word that comes out of his mouth. How irresponsible could he be. Steroids cost hundreds of dollars a month... are illegal... are dangerous physically... and warp your mental capacity... make you violent. And the picture bothers me because he kept it. Why did he keep it? WTF?
    alibean

    Answer by alibean at 8:43 PM on Jun. 9, 2009

  • your husband may feel pressured by you to lose the weight and he may want to impress you really fast. I would have a talk with him and take it from there
    Myni

    Answer by Myni at 8:47 PM on Jun. 9, 2009

  • yeah it's simple why he kept the picture. he wants to have it to look at. believe me my husband would of deleted it right then. as for the drugs it seems like he want to get himself thin to impress this other girl maybe. i wouldn't trust anything he said after i found a kept nude picture of an ex. my husband just said he wouldn't keep which i knew but he said if a guy kept an ex's pic he is hoping to keep her on the back burner if things didn't work out with you.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 9:16 PM on Jun. 9, 2009

  • Yes, I understand about the trust issues... yikes, I have some of my own. My husband is great to me but I'll never get rid of the nagging issues. Anyway, I am not sure you can trust anyone 100%. In my case, I have to believe that God brought us together and I know he has faith the way I do. That helps a lot, but people are human and they make mistakes, other lie and ultimately move on. Some peole stay married for 30 plus years. Maybe when some of them leave us, it is really good riddens. Anyway I am praying for you because I can relate. Even as a Christian woman, it is so hard.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:49 PM on Jun. 9, 2009

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