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Can you help? feeling lost and confused

One of my best friends died in June 2003. I was working and got the call when I was teaching summer school. I thought I was okay, but the past couple of months I have began to think about her a lot. She died in a car accident and no one knows what happened. I miss her so much. She used to work at Wal-Mart and would run up to me yelling my name. It made me so happy. Today I was waiting for that and I could hear her voice so clearly. I am hurting so much and miss her so much. What can I do? Is there any advice. I know I should be over it, but lately it has started to consume my thoughts.


Asked by krissyvelazquez at 9:34 PM on Jun. 9, 2009 in Relationships

Level 19 (8,028 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • Maybe she's trying to tell you something like she's ok where she is and you should stop grieving. She may be telling you that you are so important to her that she'll never leave you even in death. She may be telling you to feel the love from her and love yourself enough to let go of the mental torment you are causing yourself. You know she would not want you to suffer like this. Celebrate her life. Honor her memory, love her but give the gift of peace to yourself and move on. She's with you and will always be. Talk to her if you want like she's still here but lift that burden of obsession off your shoulders. Grief should be over by now. Joy for what you had with her should have replaced negative thoughts of loss. Peace.

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:22 AM on Jun. 10, 2009

  • You really need to find something more to occupy your time,once you do you will have less time to think about her.I think also you are still grieving and you need time to heal.I would visit her grave stone and spend some time talking to her.

    Answer by countingsparows at 9:43 PM on Jun. 9, 2009

  • I am so sorry for your loss. There are people in my life that I miss too. I try to honor their memory and cherish the positive. Is there something she loved that you could volunteer your time or energy to or dedicate on her behalf? Like if she loved animals you could volunteer a few hours at the Humane Society or just make a no sew fleece blanket and donate it to Project Linus (gives babies in need blankets) in her honor. I'm sure she would want you to find happiness and maybe giving would be a way to keep her memory alive in a positive way.

    Answer by mrs_pulley at 9:44 PM on Jun. 9, 2009

  • There is no amount of time to grief a wonderful person's lost. Her life was cut off short and she meant a lot to you. Life goes on and think what she would have wanted you to do, go on and make the best out of life because it cannot be taken for granted. If it helps write a diary about your thoughts but don't let it consume you or rob you the joy for life. Think about her life as a celebration of who she was, not as a sad thing, she wouldn't want to be remembered by tears and pain. Smile when you think about her, it was nice knowing her and having her to be part of your life, treasure those moments and let that define your memory of her instead of how tragically she was gone.

    Answer by bebita at 9:46 PM on Jun. 9, 2009

  • Live the Life she would have wanted . she sounded so full of life, so you living the life you have for both of you should be the way to go. One step at a time. someone like her needs you, pass it on.


    Answer by betty737 at 9:54 PM on Jun. 9, 2009

  • My best friend was murdered in 2005, and 4 years later I still have times where I am overwhelmed with sadness. I miss her so much. She was truly the sister I never had. With me, I tried to over come the sadness and remember the happy, fun times. The first 2 years I grieved so hard, but I realized that she would be so unhappy if she knew I was mourning her. So now, when I'm feeling down about her, I remember that's not how she would want it and I try to focus on the better times. I call her parents regularly, I talk about her with my children (my oldest knew her and has many things from her, so I remind him of her & how much she loved him). But there are still days that I just want to cry. I really like betty737's suggestion, and I may try to adapt this attitude myself. {{hugs}}


    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 12:23 AM on Jun. 10, 2009

  • I lost my best friend almost 14 years ago to a car accident. She was 18. She was the most amazing person, so full of life and she loved me like a sister. The hurt is still very much there and I miss her like crazy. Her death has made me a stronger person. I realize how fragile our bodies really are and to NEVER take anything or anyone for granted every again. Feel free to message me if you want to talk about this more.

    Answer by Katalynna at 3:57 PM on Jun. 10, 2009