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Why does he do this when he obviously doesn't want to be with me?

For 4 days, I got ignored by him. I went to his house and he was just cold towards me like I was just some random girl that was bothering him. The next day I wrote him and told him that he never had to hear from me again because he obviously wants to be left alone. He wrote me back and said that it's sad that we can't be together but he's going to keep hurting me and doesn't want to. He also asked me if I was trying to make him feel sorry for me and that he didn't. Today I get an e-mail saying that he was suprised that I didn't write him back and that he will give me my way and he won't talk to me any longer. Hes the one that shut me out to begin with and now he's trying to make me feel guilty. I guess now he knows how it feels to be ignored.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:36 PM on Jun. 9, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • He's doing it to make himself feel better, to trick himself into thinking he didn't do anything wrong. If you come back and attack him, or start a fight with him, then YOU are the bad person, not him.

    I would do what you are doing now, and just leave him alone.
    CarolynBarnett

    Answer by CarolynBarnett at 11:38 PM on Jun. 9, 2009

  • I agree with Carolyn, leave it be.

    Mama_Kimmy

    Answer by Mama_Kimmy at 11:39 PM on Jun. 9, 2009

  • I agree with the above. He probably also likes stringing you along. You know, he doesn't want to be with you, but he wants you to pine away for him. It's his male ego at work. Ignore him and move on. There's someone out there that deserves your time and attention. Good Luck
    lighthousemom3

    Answer by lighthousemom3 at 11:44 PM on Jun. 9, 2009

  • if it keeps you in contact with him then that is why he does it. maybe he goes from attention to none but either way it gets a reaction from you (from what you wrote) right now it seems like he has a hold on you that he doesn't want to let go.
    nateandlo

    Answer by nateandlo at 11:44 PM on Jun. 9, 2009

  • what a jerk but you are better off leaving him alone
    miss_nevin

    Answer by miss_nevin at 11:45 PM on Jun. 9, 2009

  • Forget he even exists, I hate guys like that.
    mommynainai

    Answer by mommynainai at 11:48 PM on Jun. 9, 2009

  • It's called the Barracuda Dance and it's immature but ppl do it all the time. You hurt me and push me away then you come back and I hurt you and push you away and on and on and on. One of you has to stop the dance. It's a dysfunctional unhealthy relationship. Get out of it and find a guy who doesn't have issues. He'll keep trying to draw you back in to the dance. Only you can let that happen but know now that it's not going to develop into a meaningful relationship. Look up "Passive-Aggressive" man and see if his picture isn't there!
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:53 PM on Jun. 9, 2009

  • i know its the weird role reversal DRAMA king!! Its becoming an epidemic...its like if you don't bring any drama they TRY to make it...DON'T fall into the trap!!
    ormom1977

    Answer by ormom1977 at 11:57 PM on Jun. 9, 2009

  • Hes trying to look like the good guy, like it was your idea to break up with him. Leave him alone. Guys usually warn you about themselves but we choose not to listen.
    MamaLub

    Answer by MamaLub at 12:35 AM on Jun. 10, 2009

  • Sounds too confusing, just drop it.
    squish

    Answer by squish at 12:51 AM on Jun. 10, 2009

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