Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

how do i get my dh to help!!!!!

he nevers seems to do anything. like today....he comes home from work, sees me having difficulties trying to get our 6.5 month old bathed and in bed.....and goes straight to the couch and sits down.....then when im finished he asked if i need help. Then when it came time for dinner.....i asked him to help me get the dishes from the night before washed while i cook so we wouldnt have double dishes....and suddenly he's deathly ill. He sleeps on the couch while i do the dishes...get dinner ready and then magically....he feels better....eats and then wants to laugh and cut up....

What can i do to make him realize that I'm not super mom and i cant do everything by myself.....

and to top it all off....he asks me after all this is done......'did you wash the colors today...? i need a shirt for tomorrow...?'

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 12:51 AM on Jun. 10, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

Answers (4)
  • with my daughter i told him he had to watch her while i went grocery shopping and gave him a small list (unload dishwasher, put clothes in dryer, and start a new load that was already sorted and sitting in a basket ready to be put in). she was about 5 months old, i left and told him to call me if he needed something. he called about 10 times in the first 20 mins. b/c he couldn't figure out one thing or another. when i got home, he told me i was crazy to think he could take care of her and do what was on the list at the same time. i just looked at him and said well i do that and more every day and don't get any help. he tried to pull the "but your mom thats what moms do" crap with me when i said that and i told him that moms with dads around don't have to do it all w/o any help. thats the whole point of being in a relationship and having kids together, so you take care of them and your home together. since then he's been CONT

    Answer by vabchmommy at 12:56 AM on Jun. 10, 2009

  • a little more willing to help out around the house. its kind of mean and sneaky, but it worked for me. he's very much one of those people that has to figure things out on his own, so i have to find sneaky ways for him to figure things out "on his own" b/c if i tell him he just doesn't get it half the time.

    Answer by vabchmommy at 12:57 AM on Jun. 10, 2009

  • When you figure it out - let me know. =)

    The only advice I can give is stop being super mom. If dinner doesn't get made, he won't be able to eat. Maybe he'll make it tomorrow night. If he wants his shirts clean, he might want to get into that laundry room and put them in the washer.

    Answer by ANGIE409 at 2:03 AM on Jun. 10, 2009

  • Here's my two part simple method.

    Part one - leave his things undone. Don't do laundry,. feed yourself, let him feed himself. And so on.

    If that doesn't work, move on to part two - hand the baby to him and LEAVE. Be gone for at least two hours and DO NOT come home for anything less than the house burning down.

    Step two worked marvelously here. DH never complained and he handled his own stuff.

    Answer by gdiamante at 2:31 AM on Jun. 10, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.