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Do you find that being friends with other moms is difficult?

I have a hard time making friends with other moms due to a difference in parenting styles. I understand that everyone has their own style and i personally would never tell a mother to breastfeed vs bottle feed or that their child should/shouldnt go in time out or whatever. Every family has something different that works for them.
BUT i find that i just cant make friends with others who dont have a similiar parenting style. ...i have 2 RL momma friends. One is in a similiar situation as myself and parents in a similiar way (we have minor differences) the other is in whole different situation and her parenting style IS different then mine with many things but the most important "core" part of the parenting is still the same.
I've met other moms with different parenting styles and find that it is just too dificult to remain friends.
Anyone else like this?

 
outstandingLove

Asked by outstandingLove at 2:13 AM on Jun. 10, 2009 in Relationships

Level 20 (9,136 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • In the past I've had a harder time because I am a fairly traditional parent and everyone I knew was big into child led parenting, so maybe the opposite of you? Anyway, if you go to a site like meetup.com and search your zip code, there's usually a full range of groups, from alt. parenting to just traditional playgroups. You'd probably have an easier time connecting with someone if you join (or start!) a group that matches your parenting style. If nothing else, just remember that all moms are just trying to do what's best for their baby, so you DO have the same values at heart with all mommas!
    mrs_pulley

    Answer by mrs_pulley at 9:43 AM on Jun. 10, 2009

  • OH YES, I TRY NOT TO BE TOO CRITICAL OF OTHERS PARENTING ESP. IF WE ARE FRIENDS. IF I FEEL SOMETHING IS DONE WAY TO HARSH I JUST REMOVE MYSELF AND WAIT FOR A CALL TO EXPLAIN MY TAKE ON THE SITUATION. BUT BELIEVE ME YOU WILL MESH BETTER WITH SOMEONE WHO'S PARENTING SKILLS ARE CLOSER TO YOURS.
    NURSE_MOM_OF_2

    Answer by NURSE_MOM_OF_2 at 2:18 AM on Jun. 10, 2009

  • I find it hard to be friends with other mothers because the majority of the mothers I know don't face the same issues I do as a parent. My son is special needs and I find it hard to relate. When I do talk to other mother's like myself I find it hard to be friends too, because we both are living such hectic lives and what not. So I just have a couple of really close friends that are mothers but understand when our plans to hang out don't work out.
    lmsar

    Answer by lmsar at 2:21 AM on Jun. 10, 2009

  • Nope, maybe because mine are older. I'm not as time stressed and I decided long ago not to judge anyones parenting style. So far most people I have met respect that.
    teamquinn

    Answer by teamquinn at 2:26 AM on Jun. 10, 2009

  • I have a hard time too. My youngest child has Asperger's & Adhd, my middle son has Adhd and my daughter has ADD, a mood disorder and mild Asperger's. Nobody I have met can relate to my circumstances and they think they need to put in their 2 cents when I didn't even ask for it. I am a single SAHM and I get flak for that too. Please walk a mile in my shoes and then you'll know what I go through on a daily basis. I do not need to be judged and condemned. I'd just like to meet some understanding moms who I have something in common with and who will like me for me.

    Now I know why I get along better with men!
    bookworm65

    Answer by bookworm65 at 2:36 AM on Jun. 10, 2009

  • wow bookworm.
    thats a lot to handle.
    my younger brother has aspergers. my sister has bipolar
    my adopted little brother that i am now adopting as my son because our mom died has cerebal palsey and is getting evaluated for SPD or ADHD.
    and i care for my DSS and DH is in the military.
    I am also only 22 and doing all this, so it's very difficult to find a mom my age who understands.
    my boys are 4 1/2 (adopted brother/son) and 3 1/2 (DSS).
    outstandingLove

    Answer by outstandingLove at 2:40 AM on Jun. 10, 2009

  • i do find it very difficult, i have 2 good friends that are moms and i was friends with them before they were moms, luckily our parenting styles are very similar. the only big differences is one is more strict and the other is less strict than me. and both are bearable. i have to bite my tongue sometimes, but they aren't my kids so they aren't my decisions to make. otherwise i find it hard to find new friends b/c of the differences, we have to get along as friends but also have similar parenting styles or else it just won't work.
    vabchmommy

    Answer by vabchmommy at 2:48 AM on Jun. 10, 2009

  • Wow, this is exactly what I have been gong through. I thought it was just me. I am so aware of everthing I say especially to the Mom's that are way different then me I sometimes feel I'm forcing my convo....I guess the solution is to find Mom's/ families similar to yours.
    jess227ny

    Answer by jess227ny at 3:54 AM on Jun. 10, 2009

  • So true. Honestly , as my son gets older I try to not be so critical of other parenting styles. But when a parent tells you not to say anything to their child when they are scratching a red racecar across your freshly painted walls, you know there is a cotrol issue. We stopped hanging out for eleven years. We always went to their house instead. She finally realized that no matter what if you are violating someone's property, 5 or 6 yers old, the owner has every right to tell them to stop. Wake up mothers. Tell your kid to behave in other people's homes..............
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:17 AM on Jun. 10, 2009

  • not really most mom's are okay and easy to get alone with but there are some mom 's that are just too picky . But their still nice we say hi and we smile to each other and talk some. we just socialize but don't get together. But the one's that I do get along with we make plans and go out.
    incarnita

    Answer by incarnita at 9:15 AM on Jun. 10, 2009

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