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Time for her own room?

my 9 year old has been sharing a room with her 3 year old sister for a while and they're really close, but now that she's 9 i was trying to figure out if it's time for her to have her own room, shes very mature and smart for her age, but has some attachment issues and i was also wondering if give her her own room would help, my husband and i have been looking for a bigger house to move into and the one we plan on moving into will have 5 bedrooms should i still put her in with her sister? make her have her own room? if i let her choose i know she will want to stay with her little sister

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 6:38 AM on Jun. 10, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

Answers (8)
  • I'd let her stay with her sister because I'd say in a few years, she won't want to be around her. Teenagers act like their younger siblings are the plague :P

    Answer by Gremlyn at 6:48 AM on Jun. 10, 2009

  • I would give her her own room! Let her pick the paint color/theme, and decor. She's going to be reaching puberty soon, she will want her OWN space by then!

    Use the opportunity of moving to a new home to start anew. Giving each child their own space doesn't mean they can't see each other anymore, they can hang out in each other's rooms all day if they want, they should just have their own space with their own "coveted" things.

    We have a 5 bedroom house, and only 2 boys--they each have their own bedrooms, but their bedrooms are strictly for sleeping/quiet time, and homework. They have a playroom (finished basement) where they can hang out together, make a mess, as all of their toys and games, TV, and arts and crafts area are located there.

    Answer by LoriKeet at 7:03 AM on Jun. 10, 2009

  • I think I'd ask her. Is it possible to give her the option of rooming with sister and then changing later to a new room? The switch to the new house might be a bit overwhelming if she looses her roommate, too.

    Either way, best of luck to you! :)

    Answer by AAAMama at 8:57 AM on Jun. 10, 2009

  • She needs her own room. She is becoming a teenager soon and needs her own space. They can hang out together and have sleepovers but at 9, she should have her own room.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 11:39 AM on Jun. 10, 2009

  • I have mixed feelings about this one. It sounds incredible sweet that she actually WANTS to stay with her little sissy ;-). I have 2 girls also & my oldest is so close with her baby sis too. But I doubt she'd want to share a room with her. On the one hand, I agree with poster 'Gremlyn' that she will soon be a teen & teens typically don't like being bothered with younger sibling, so let her be close to her now. On the other hand, you stated that she had attachment issues. If you keep her in the same room as her sister, she will not learn to change from this behavior. Giving her her own room would be a great way for her to start her own independence. I would make it fun & exciting for her. Let her choose her room setup, her own bed covers, let her decorate it how she chooses. Her sister will still be close by. Good luck.

    Answer by Lextacy at 10:55 AM on Jun. 11, 2009

  • I would let her decide. Forcing her into her own room when she doesn't want it and isn't ready (still attached to her little sister) might backfire. My son always had his own room (for the most part) and my older girls shared but they were right across the hall. We moved and he had his own room there but down the hall. He HATED it and every night sneaked into his sisters' room and slept on the floor. They are now 9 (in a couple weeks), 7 1/2 (my son) and 6 1/2 and all share 1 big room. We're going to let them decide when it's time for their brother to move into his own room (which will mean switching with his baby sister who is 3 right now). The girls have no choice but to share. They will never have their own rooms.

    Answer by justanotherjen at 6:02 PM on Jun. 14, 2009

  • I shared a room with my sister till I was about 14. We are a lot closer in age, only 17 months apart. We had a hard time once we got to about 10 or 11 because we needed our own space. Whether that was do to how close we were in age or the age its self I don't know. Also I have two boys ages 10 and 6. Having them in the same room worked til the older one was about 8 then their toys and the things they liked were different. I hoped this helped.

    Answer by chromemom at 6:48 PM on Jun. 14, 2009

  • I shared a room with my sister who was a year and a half younger than me....and honestly, I couldn't wait to get my own room! There is nothing like having some space of your own... If you will have enough space for them to have their own rooms, why not give them each their own rooms and then they can always have "sleepovers" (with each other) when they choose to. It is not like just because they have their own rooms they can't still spend time together. If she has attachment issues...that might be all the more reason to let her have her own room while she is still young enough to transition to it slowly. You want your kids to be close and enjoy the relationship but you also want them to be able to function as separate entities.

    Answer by BJoan at 2:04 PM on Jun. 17, 2009

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