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Not sure how to handle?

My bff's son hits my dd on purpose the last 4 times we have gotten together. The last time was last night-1st he kicked her in the stomach and 10 mins later in the face. He told his mom he was just practicing his karate. She did not make him say sorry and he only got a 3 min time out after the 2nd kick. Told him karate is for class only!! My dd now has a swollen face!

They are both 5(dd is 17wks older)and she outweighs him by 10pds, he is a skinny thing, I told her last night to nail him with everything she has if he hits her again. Am I right?!

Bff refuses to accept that son is a sh** and claims my dd must do something to make him do it!!Our other friend whose 5yro dd is in the middle of these 2 gets hit also if she is around.

I am sick of it and don't want to lose a friend when I finally smack the crap out of her son for hurting my dd again!!

Answer Question

Asked by pitbull4me at 10:28 AM on Jun. 10, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 14 (1,514 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • I agree she should wallop him.

    Answer by lostshel at 10:32 AM on Jun. 10, 2009

  • It doesn't matter if your daughter was in his face making fun him it doesn't give him the right to hit her or anyone for that matter. She needed to discipline her child for hitting your daughter and if she didn't I would have. I personally wouldn't have them together anymore and if you do I wouldn't be afraid to step in and take care of him if she doesn't. The FIRST thing they teach you in karate is to NOT practice outside of class which is what he did and he is obviously not learning discipline that karate teaches.


    Answer by Anonymous at 10:33 AM on Jun. 10, 2009

  • Honestly, one part of me wants to say for her to hit him back, but what it comes down to is a lack of respect from your bff and your daughter should not have to defend herself when you get together with this kid. The bff is being a jerk by not making her son be accountable for his actions. If my son were to hit someone, I don't care if he was provoked or not, he is going to face consequences for his actions. Seems to me she thinks her little one can do no wrong and if he keeps getting away with it, it will only get worse and your daughter will end up bleeding next time. I would tell bff that until she decides to get him under control and stop allowing him to beat on your kid, then your visits will have to be limited and the kids won't be left unsupervised for one second. Maybe she thinks it is just "kids being kids" and doesn't take it seriously, so you need to let her know you are serious.

    Answer by KTMOM at 10:40 AM on Jun. 10, 2009

  • Yep, i would tell my child the went ot his mom she did nothing, he doesnt next time she should hit him back, hes either going to take it and learn, or cry to mommy, and if she comes to you acting crazy about HER kid getting hit, then you should hit just kidding...but i would want to!! both need to learn that thats not fight, all the time, but your daughter shouldnt learn to just take it...she was awesome for not beating him down!! lol!!

    Answer by sweetstkissez22 at 10:42 AM on Jun. 10, 2009

  • When my little guy started daycare, and became the object of bullying, after awhile I finally told him that if he feels he has to, protect yourself. I also made sure he knew that its not okay to hit or kick (especially girls) but if someone is doing that to him, he has the right to protect himself.

    I think that is awful that she thinks its okay for him to hit girls, even if its 'practicing karate". I hope you dd gives him a good one next time she gets kicked or hit by this boy. And I'm sorry that this may ruin a friendship.


    Answer by mommyaunt412 at 12:44 PM on Jun. 10, 2009

  • maybu shoulod have a talk with ur friend after all she is ur bff for a reason, mayb u could explain the way her son always hits, kicks, etc. and that u feel like he should have gotton more than 3 mins in time out after all he is 5 he should have atleast 5 mins and be made to apologize....if this doesnt work then let ur dd loose on the kid....tell her not to hit first but should he make the first move to hit him back!!!! seems like this lil boy needs a taste of his own medicine. as long as he keeps getttin off easy he'll keep doin it to. but if she really cares bout ur friendship and ur dd she will understand and mayb get a little stricter on her ds! goodluck!

    Answer by KeLiStA at 7:15 PM on Jun. 10, 2009

  • An eye for an eye and the world goes blind.
    If the child can't behave, then keep your daughter away from him.

    Answer by rkoloms at 5:01 PM on Jun. 12, 2009

  • main problem with this boy is he hits her while in front of adults. but, never in front of his mom.

    and as far as, "eye for an eye", I will not let my dd think that she has to allow boys to hit her and not defend herself. this child and dd will encounter each other often(few times a wk)so cannot keep her away entirely. we told her to not hit first and not to hit strangers. but, with those she knows don't take any crap. explained that I will take any heat that comes from it. but, she needs to protect herself.

    I grew up with a dad who taught us to not hit 1st, but to not back down and take it either. he taught us if you hit someone back you better be able to defend yourself. so in turn my brother and I can fight like hell! my mom could have died!! neither one of us ever started a fight, but we ended our fair share.

    Answer by pitbull4me at 10:41 PM on Jun. 12, 2009

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