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Sexual Desire & Response?

I can only get aroused (and even then just a little) by my imagination. NOTHING my husband or former lovers have done has had any effect on me. I have so little sexual desire that I have come to see sex a huge burden.

My husband would do anything for me but I have never felt any sexual response to anything he's tried or I've suggested. We went to counselling once and it didn't help at all. In fact, I found the whole thing embarrassing!

We've been together 16 years now. Is there really no hope I'll ever enjoy sex!?? It's making me miserable.

Thankyou for your time and any words of advice or support.


Asked by Anonymous at 10:45 AM on Jun. 10, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • Have you considered that there could be a medical problem. I have read that some women suffer from this issue when their estrogen level is too low. If that's not the issue then perhaps some counseling?


    Answer by teamquinn at 10:57 AM on Jun. 10, 2009

  • I think the more you use it, the better response you'll have. I had to teach myself how to orgasm. No man could ever do it. So, i went & bought me a little vibrator. I REALLY wanted to enjoy sex, i thought this might help me figure out how. Anyway, after some trial & error, i finally had my first orgasm.....all by myself. That was all i needed to keep trying. This was about 5-6 years ago, i now am horny all the time, i developed a craving for it. I also started working out at the gym 5 days a week, & this also upped my sex drive. Anyway, this is what worked for me. I thought i would share. It seams like now i can't get enough sex, it's funny when i remember how much i hated it.


    Answer by samurai_chica at 11:01 AM on Jun. 10, 2009

  • You might be putting too much pressure on yourself. Try having a few drinks then have your hubby gently touch you all over. Agree from the start that you are NOT going to have sex.
    Just learn how to enjoy his gentle touches without worrying about the sex part.

    Answer by beckcorc at 12:31 PM on Jun. 10, 2009

  • there is hope i know some people are against toys but i read that some women can only get off by a toy there own sexual pleasure. i love sex but there is only one thing i can feel a real orgasm and its not my bf!!!! so mabey if you try that or you try it together!!! it isnt realy all that bad i know people dont like it or believe in it but it might help you and then it will help you understand your body and your needs i read a bood on it its all about masturbation and finding what you like in yourself and its realy helpful and you can learn how to get your partner involoved in it tooo!!! or mabey it is a medical thing too talk to a doctor mabey they can help theres more than one option out there and i see your are trying dont give up!!!!!

    Answer by Tbaby61727 at 2:18 PM on Jun. 10, 2009

  • My husband has no desire to have sex with me. He has to be turned on by his fantasies then come to me. I can not make the first move because he becomes defensive.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:35 PM on Jun. 10, 2009