Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

im at my wits end sometimes anymore

am a sahm, i take care of the kid/house/front/back yard/car and the hubby. for awhile that was all i did but eventually it go to the point i NEEDED a life of my own as well, so i got back into dance and i am doing shows now, training more . i am planning to go back to college in a few months and although i ilke being a sahm because she is young (2.5) im just so stressed anymore. i feel like im always fighting to just keep up with everything and i can never even break even or get ahead. relaxation is a thing of the past for me. my sleeping has gone to hell, i lay their for hours till 2-3 in the morning thinking about what i have to do tomorrow or what wasnt done correctly today and i just cant stop. i wasnt this stressed when i was military.and i know once college starts again, im gonna be even more weighed down and i just feel like OMG.i know other moms do the same thing but i feel like its never enough and i am failing

Answer Question
 
moki1984

Asked by moki1984 at 1:13 PM on Jun. 10, 2009 in Relationships

Level 11 (573 Credits)
Answers (16)
  • Maybe u have to much on your plate- can college wait until ur daughter is older?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:19 PM on Jun. 10, 2009

  • ive already put it off so long.

    if i got more help from my husabnd it would make a world of difference. im not saying him clean the house...but at least pick up after hiimself. example..his computer desk right now..has 3 empty packs of cigs. dust from almonds on it.....wrappers, his lunch plate and coffee mug....you get the point. with him and the toddler im picking up after 2 kids pretty much.
    moki1984

    Answer by moki1984 at 1:21 PM on Jun. 10, 2009

  • I am a F/T working career mom with a child the same age as yours. Sometimes you just have to prioritize what is important and the other can wait. The sky will not fall if you don't get something done! What is the worst that will happen? I think you should see your doctor and tell him/her about this. When constant worry interferes with sleep and controls your thoughts, then there is a bigger problem. Perhaps there is something he/she can prescribe for anxiety.
    dawpea

    Answer by dawpea at 1:23 PM on Jun. 10, 2009

  • ehh anxiety issues run in my family i just hate the thought of beig on pills because i know some of them are dependent upon it.

    i mean im a sahm..so i have to clean the house , thats my job.....i need college because if i want a good career once she is in school i need to finish this degree. so they all seem like priorities to me. ive already cut down my dancing but that is ...if i cut that out completely then im left with nothing fun that is just for me and im back to my life revolving compltely around everyone else and responsibilities and nothing that is just "me" i would kill for a massage
    moki1984

    Answer by moki1984 at 1:27 PM on Jun. 10, 2009

  • my husband expects me to take care of the house, college fulltime, take care of the kid, work pt, keep up with my dancing....and still walk around like a perky , happy ready to have sex wife.

    he just doesnt get it, he gets nights off....he gets weekends off.....when do i get a day off? when do i get a damn vacation? cause right now i would really , really like a day off.....
    moki1984

    Answer by moki1984 at 1:31 PM on Jun. 10, 2009

  • Most men, not all, most men are not nurturers like women are. They can some times be, but not often. Some times they can be compassionate but not often. All of the previous is true for my own husband. We shoulda gone to counselling joint instead of what we did was fight. Now he's open to my thoughts and needs although still not nurturing when I speak firmly forcefully not emotionally. Try speaking with him instead of talking to him about but speak firmly. Turn tv off then telll him you want to get a schedule, a menu, a shopping list, the kids .... so you don't forget any thing. If he's having a drink of what ever then or a smoke as long as he's not drunk or illegal let him do that while you and he set up what ever it is. If that doesn't work think about a counsellor or tell him what else I do that works,also with being emotional, hubby can pay for us to be together less costly or separately very expensive.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:36 PM on Jun. 10, 2009

  • ... also with being emotional ... I meant to say ... also with out being emotional. Men are not often emotional about our dayto day NEEDS to keep us save. When mine frustrates me beyond belief I work hard to remember how did I handle my kids when they'd have tantrums about whatever. Then I remember that speaking firmly with my kids - my husband - about rules of family kept the peace and worked well for us all than being emotional.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:42 PM on Jun. 10, 2009

  • you know what ...sit your husband down and let him know how you feel.just because he brings home the money doesn't me he the king and thats all he have to do.No, when you have kids it a two person job and a 24 hour one at that . i'm a single mother and i do it all ..work 8 hours a day and come home to my kids cook clean and everthing i am also going back to school but if you have that extra support there use it ..
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:46 PM on Jun. 10, 2009

  • i dont nag my husband anymore. stopped that awhile ago. i dont ask for much help either. i just let him know whats going on and i let him know when im feeilng swamped....and his answer is to just stop doing it and let it sit.....i cant do that....
    he will say so what if the house is dirty....so what if the dirty dishes are on the counter..so what if the laundry is growing....
    i am already so behind all the time...if i just stop it will grow even worse. when i first met hiim, his place was TRASHED. its how he is. he doesnt care if the house smells like the litter box, so its up to me to take care of all of it or it just wont get done. ive seriously considered hiring a cleaning service once a month to help take the load off....but i hate to throw away $$
    moki1984

    Answer by moki1984 at 1:47 PM on Jun. 10, 2009

  • You need to take a vacation, split the chores and relax yes. Everything does not have to be ship shape. My hubby is okay if it's not with us. We both work long hours and he tells me to sit down and just relax.

    Blessings!
    JCRestoredme

    Answer by JCRestoredme at 2:08 PM on Jun. 10, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN