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Is it wise to want another baby after one just died?

I was 6 months pregnant and my son was born. He lived for three hours on his own. Hospital did nothing for him to save him, said there would be birth defects. I want another baby so bad right now. is that wrong. am i trying to replace him. how long do i have to wait before i try again. i have a girl and boy already. but want my baby boy back. i just can't let go i think of him night and day. when does the pan end. i need some advice. By six months he had no amniotic fluid around him. Will this happen again.? I don't think I would beable to go through that again. I had to leave the hospital after he died because I couldn't bare to hear the other babies. I did not have a DC either. I'm worried i won't beable to have more children.

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myas71

Asked by myas71 at 5:31 PM on Jun. 10, 2009 in Pregnancy

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Answers (6)
  • I think I'd feel the same as you. I'd want the baby back, and I'd want to try again.
    I wouldn't consider it replacing him. Some people may think it's too soon, but it's really you're decision and you're life.
    I'm sorry for your loss
    CamiiiCompasion

    Answer by CamiiiCompasion at 5:37 PM on Jun. 10, 2009

  • In my opinion, you need to wait until you grieve for your little boy. I had a miscarriage at 20 weeks and it took me a long time to grieve and get over losing him. I was so depressed. You should grieve for your baby now and not have the burden on you during your pregnancy of another. It will not be healthy. It's not that you are replacing him, but you heart has a hole where that baby was. and it will always be there, you have to figure out a way to come to terms with the loss of your son before having another baby right now. I know you want your boy back. But it is impossible. Let your body and heart heal before you have another baby. and just know that, the next baby is not going to be the baby you lost. Just because this happened during this pregnancy does not mean it will happen with the next. Listen to what your doctors tell you about getting pregnant again. good luck and I am so sorry for your loss.
    2wndrfl_btrflys

    Answer by 2wndrfl_btrflys at 5:38 PM on Jun. 10, 2009

  • I agree with 2wndrfl also.
    Take some time, and when your doctors say it's okay to try again, and you feel you are emotionally and physically ready I don't see a harm in trying again.
    CamiiiCompasion

    Answer by CamiiiCompasion at 5:43 PM on Jun. 10, 2009

  • You will know when you are ready. No one else can tell you, and don't worry about what others think. When I remarried after my husband died I got a lot of flack. I was ready though. I am so sorry for your loss. I hope all works out well for you!
    ColleenF30

    Answer by ColleenF30 at 6:00 PM on Jun. 10, 2009

  • I am so sorry for the loss of your son. I think 2wndrfl addressed the emotional side very well so I would just add that before you try to conceive, have a complete physical & pelvic exam. Talk to your doctor about what happened & your chances of it happening again. If you are not comfortable with your doctor after what happened, then request your records & go find a new doctor. Make sure you are physically ready for another pregnancy. Only you can determine the emotional side of it but at least you will know that physically, you have the best chance of carrying to term. I would also (and this is just me) request the baby's records from the hospital. That sounds almost like malpractice to me. If the baby was alive, they needed to fight to keep him that way, not just let him die b/c they thought he might have medical problems. Again, I am so sorry & best of everything in the future.
    funnyface1204

    Answer by funnyface1204 at 6:19 PM on Jun. 10, 2009

  • oh sweetie im so sorry about ur loss, thats got to be very very hard. i would wait a few more months and let time help me grieve over my baby passing befor i tried to bring another one into this world. only u will know when u r ready to try...some women do have another months after the passing of a baby and it helps them recooperate so to say. i hope the best for you whatever it is u decide to do..
    eSnA2008

    Answer by eSnA2008 at 10:31 PM on Jun. 10, 2009

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