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Should I give my best friend some tough love?

It's a touchy subject because it's regarding her daughter. She is 18 months old and is STILL on her binky and her bottle. She's "tried" to wean her off the bottle but didn't take the binky away (pointless since they go hand in hand). I told her it will be a rough few days of weaning but she never even made it through one day! She gave up and gave the bottle back to her daughter (didn't even try taking the precious freakin' binky away). It's just so dumb to me. Wise up and be your kid's parent, not her friend. Is it gonna suck hearing her tantrums? Yeah. But it will be better in the end. ALSO... her daughter won't eat solid foods at all. She only wants milk in the bottle. She throws a kicking screaming tantrum anytime her mother or me tries to feed her. I sometimes had to pin her down so she wouldn't knock food everywhere. I know this is probably becuase she's on the binky and bottle. Should I tell my friend or shut up? Thanks.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 5:48 PM on Jun. 10, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

Answers (28)
  • She isn't killing her...let it go. The girl will eventually give it all up and eat anyway.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:51 PM on Jun. 10, 2009

  • i wouldn't say anything, its not your place to decide when to take her off of them. and the bottle can be gotten rid of w/the binky still being there. my daughter got rid of her bottle and still had hers w/o any problems. so they don't really have to go hand in hand when it comes to that. its up to her to decide when she is ready and when she feels her daughter is ready, you saying something would only damage the friendship and make her wonder exactly what else you think she is a bad mom about.

    Answer by vabchmommy at 5:55 PM on Jun. 10, 2009

  • Not your child, she's not hurting not your business

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:55 PM on Jun. 10, 2009

  • You seem pretty judgmental for a "friend". I would leave her alone. Whether she gives her kid a bottle an/or pacifier is really none of your business. Unless she is endangering her kid, leave her alone.

    Answer by Nathskitten at 6:00 PM on Jun. 10, 2009

  • Well, I don't think the binky and bottle thing is your business, but the child not eating solid foods because of it is. The formula or milk is not enough nutrition at that age to substain the child. If taking the bottle away gets her to eat food, then so be it. For the time being I would voice your concern about the child not eating solid food and the effects it can have on her health.

    Answer by soonmommyof3 at 6:01 PM on Jun. 10, 2009

  • That's nothing, I knew of a family with a 4 year old still on a bottle!!!

    Answer by Christian-Mom79 at 6:02 PM on Jun. 10, 2009

  • Also IMO I think a child that is 18 months should not still be on the bottle or sucking on a binky. IMO I think moms can be to soft hearted or flat out do not want to dill with it and that is what leads to pro-longed use of bottles and binkys.

    Answer by soonmommyof3 at 6:05 PM on Jun. 10, 2009

  • Honestly...I would just leave it alone.Every parent has her own way.I mean, I love my best friend to pieces and some of our parenting techniques are very different...but she's no stupid woman and neither am I.So we pick on eachother gently about our different ways and leave it at that.Give your opinion and if she doesn't agree,so's her kid.

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 6:07 PM on Jun. 10, 2009

  • The food issue has nothing to do with the binky or the bottle except that mom is letting her have too much milk.

    Don't worry about the binky or bottle. As long as her teeth are brushed before bedtime, she's fine. A binky or a bottle by itself does not cause bottle rot - only unbrushed teeth do that. And they don't harm tooth placement if they are gone by age 4. Yes, her choices may differ from yours. That doesn't make them bad choices, just not the same ones you would make.

    For the food, that is an issue. How to bring it up? I don't know. Maybe tell her about the helpful chart system you found at that lets you type in your child's age, sex, and activity level to see how much of each food group a healthy child needs each day.

    Answer by kaycee14 at 6:09 PM on Jun. 10, 2009

  • This is the OP: Wow, I can't believe you all are questioning my true intentions as her friend.... I'm asking this because being a friend sometimes REQUIRES tough love, whether they want to hear it or not. The child's DOCTOR says she's underweight and needs to eat! So yes, her health is in danger because of this. Maybe I should have included that sooner. Looks like all of you are "part time" friends to your own friends. Friends are there to help you, whether you think you need the help or not. It's not good for her to be on the bottle and binky since it's hindering her from gaining any weight and eating any solids. My 9 month old weighs more than this 18 month old. SAD!!! So don't judge me, maybe I should judge all you "part time friends".

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:09 PM on Jun. 10, 2009

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