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If you don't spank than how do you discipline?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:55 PM on Jun. 10, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (17)
  • Redirection and time-outs are popular. I think sometimes kids just need a spank on the butt though. You can't go overboard with it and can't use it as your main form of discipline or it won't work.
    ReneeK3

    Answer by ReneeK3 at 5:57 PM on Jun. 10, 2009

  • Nathskitten

    Answer by Nathskitten at 5:57 PM on Jun. 10, 2009

  • i spank but not all the time only when nothing else works. and we try time outs, taking away a toy or something she likes (story time, bubble baths, tv time etc...), and those usually work, if not she gets a spanking.
    vabchmommy

    Answer by vabchmommy at 6:00 PM on Jun. 10, 2009

  • spanking is NOT discipline. It is punishment. They don't learn from the error of their ways. They learn you are bigger than them and stronger and they fear you so they don't repeat the offense out of fear you will strike them again, not bc they learned their lesson. I reared 3 children and I hate hitting.It makes no sense to me. As small children I put up things I didn't want them touching so I didn't have to keep hitting them and saying "no" which is an abstract they don't comprehend anyway. When older I took them aside and explained what they did that was wrong and why they should not repeat it. If they hit another person I gently took their hand and stopped them, kissed it and told them it would make the person sad and hurt them and it's not a nice thing to do. They went away and played and forgot why they were going to hit in the first place. Even older, I assigned essays so they could tell me why what they did was bad
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 6:02 PM on Jun. 10, 2009

  • I will say I spanked when my kids were younger, usually a tap that was firm enough not to be "mean" so they wouldn't touch an outlet or hot stove. However, as they have gotten older, I haven't had to spank. I give them the "mom look" and count. Usually I only have to say ONE! before they move. Some moms i'm sure will sit there and maybe say "well, they should do it when you tell them to do it" but this parenting style works for me because they do listen. And there is no need for spanking. I think only once I've had to spank in the last three months but for the most part just the mom look and counting works for me.
    CinderAmethyst

    Answer by CinderAmethyst at 6:02 PM on Jun. 10, 2009

  • spanking is NOT discipline. It is punishment. They don't learn from the error of their ways. They learn you are bigger than them and stronger and they fear you so they don't repeat the offense out of fear you will strike them again, not bc they learned their lesson.


     


    You are right about this, what is so wrong with getting punishment for something?  I spank, my children DO LEARN the error of their ways b/c I add teaching to it.  Do you think spanking parents just spank and thats it....wrong.  I spank in patients, love and with teaching involved.  When we are done they know what they did, how to do better, and that I love them.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:10 PM on Jun. 10, 2009

  • If they hit another person I gently took their hand and stopped them, kissed it and told them it would make the person sad and hurt them and it's not a nice thing to do.
    ROFL, if my child hits someone, the last thing I would do it kiss them. ROFL.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:11 PM on Jun. 10, 2009

  • I disagree that spanking does not work or that it just teaches children that you are bigger and stronger. I believe it teaches there are consequences to acting up. Action/ reaction. Cause/ Effect. Acceptable behavior = rewards. Poor behavior = undesirable consequences . HOWEVER, that said, I think there are other methods of discipline that are effective. You can use time out. When my daughter acts up, doesn't listen and throws a fit because she doesn't get her way, I have her sit down some place til she can calm down. We do this in restaurants, stores, wherever we are. She usually straightens up pretty quickly after being put in time out and is learning that unacceptable behavior has consequences. We talk with her about her behavior, demonstrate love, and let her know we are happy with her when she behaves nicely. We praise her a lot when she's good and helpful and when she acts up, we let her know how we want her to act.
    Senae

    Answer by Senae at 6:17 PM on Jun. 10, 2009

  • We also ask her to calm down and tell us why she's upset if she's throwing a fit. We talk with her about why things are the way they are and can not be the way she wants them to be. This method works well: I understand you want icecream. Icecream is yummy. I like icecream too. However now it is time for dinner, and we must eat something healthy to make our bodies strong. After dinner, I will find you a yummy treat, but you have to eat a good dinner first. (Then let the child have some say in what comes next.) Do you want apple juice or tea to drink with your dinner? This works with everything. Also, if you are some place fun, make sure to give warning before just saying it's time to go & leaving. Every child with throw a fit if you do not give warning. Either count down from 5 minutes til time to go, or say something like, "after you down the slide 2 more times, we must go."
    Senae

    Answer by Senae at 6:25 PM on Jun. 10, 2009

  • Yard work at 4 AM is discipline. When I acted up my parents would make stand in a corner for a while, or send me to my room. I believe in letting kids learn on their own, when they do stupid things that will hurt them, they probably wont do it again. There is a very short list for disciplining and punishing kids.
    MammaBella

    Answer by MammaBella at 9:02 PM on Jun. 10, 2009

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