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Single mom to be drama!!

im 19 years old and 17 weeks pregnant! im so excited this is my first pregnancy not excatly how i planned it out i dont have a big support group alot of people opposed this pregnancy including the babys father I'm having alot of problems with him i've been dating him for over 4 years (on and off)He put me through alot and ive also done my share.For years family/friends told me to leave him but of course i stayed and didnt want to listen.well now im carrying his baby this guy also has two other kids with another woman so its extremely hard to deal with him sometimes he seems so happy but then if i get him mad he'll ignore me for weeks i hate it hes turned into this monster i feel completely powerless i love my baby soo much im almost 5months and i am happy i pray all the time 4 strength i just want him to be a father to his child and it breaks my heart i feel so alone if anyone can relate please spare some advice..

Answer Question
 
Kri5taa

Asked by Kri5taa at 6:10 PM on Jun. 10, 2009 in Relationships

Level 3 (23 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • I am currently going through a separation and [soon] divorce with my husband...I'm 22....if you need to talk, please feel free to IM me....I might be able to offer some insight!
    sophiafarris

    Answer by sophiafarris at 6:14 PM on Jun. 10, 2009

  • Not to be mean, but if he has two kids with another woman and he's not being a father to them, what makes you think he'll be a father to yours? Especially since he was opposed to you being pregnant in the 1st place. I don't know your whole situation, but if he's not supporting you NOW when it's easy (because for the most part, being pregnant is WAY easier than being a parent) what do you think he's going to do when the baby comes?
    You need to ask yourself if you and you baby won't just be better off without him altogether.
    Good luck momma, and I hope the rest of your pregnancy goes well.
    motherofanaries

    Answer by motherofanaries at 6:22 PM on Jun. 10, 2009

  • JUST DON'T DEPEND ON HIM FOR ANYTHING IS THE BEST ADVISE I CAN GIVE
    SGMAMI

    Answer by SGMAMI at 6:24 PM on Jun. 10, 2009

  • Remember to work on the areas you do have control. You cannot control the babies father but you can make sure your child has one good parent. Being a single parent is not easy but it does have its rewards. I was a single parent with my oldest daughter. I think we were closer and had a lot more fun than if her dad had taken an interest. Don't let this guy jerk you around or feel you have to be with him just because he is the babies father. It won't work and everyone will be miserable.
    MACY7108

    Answer by MACY7108 at 6:29 PM on Jun. 10, 2009

  • Being a single mom is not easy, I was 19 when i got pregnant with my son (now 91/2 months) His dad was excited at first then left me when i was four months preggo. His dad wants nothing to do with him, and denys him. We were together 2 years before i got pregnant. If he's not around for his other two kids, and didn't really want this one mostly wont be around for your lil one either. If you have any family who will show you support throught this, i'd say go to them, because its going to be hard. I wouldn't change having my son, for anything. One things for sure i'd say is go after him for child support, because you'll need the money. If you need someone to talk to feel free to msg me. I know you may want him is his childs life but if he doesnt want to be there don't force it. It will only hurt you and your baby in the end not always phyically but emotionally.
    vgiron

    Answer by vgiron at 6:45 PM on Jun. 10, 2009

  • Sweetie, you can't force someone to be a father if they don't want to be. I was 19 when I got pregnant with my first and my boyfriend eventually left us. I have no idea where he is, but I am happier. You need to be happy for you and the baby. If he wants to be a part of this kid's life then he will be there. But if he is going to get mad every time you say something he doesn't like is it really going to be worth it? How is he going to treat that baby if he gets mad? Will he ignore him too? Good luck.
    krissyvelazquez

    Answer by krissyvelazquez at 7:01 PM on Jun. 10, 2009

  • depend on yourself. everything else is a bonus (if he helps) but make sure you file for child support. Don't fall for any nonsense like letting him pay you directly. Take it through the courts. sign up for all the services you can get including medicaid and food stamps and WIC. You are the mom. It is up to you. You will learn what kind of strength you really have. You will be amazed at how strong you can be.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 7:17 PM on Jun. 10, 2009

  • That is why it is better to be in a loving and stable family and being married.Not that being married is a guarantee but if I need help or I have an emergency I always have my family and my husb ands family to help me out.Good luck with your prenancy.I was a single mom but because I got a divorce.I know it is hard but stay strong.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:14 PM on Jun. 10, 2009

  • Just because he's the sperm donor doesn't mean he can or should be the father to your baby. Do you really want your baby to have a monster for a father? Your words not mine. Wise up girlie, you've got a long, hard road ahead of you. Maybe you need to ditch the loser.

    legalmommy101

    Answer by legalmommy101 at 10:06 PM on Jun. 10, 2009

  • Do you really want to go through the same heartache over and over with this man for the rest of your life? And do you want to put your child through this too? The best advice I can spare to you, is to keep your head up and do YOU for the benefit of your child.
    You cannot and will not EVER get him to see that he needs to be a father to his child. He needs to see for himself what he needs in order to be the right type of man that your child needs in his/her life...forcing him will only cause more problems that you aren't willing to deal with...more advice ~ pray that God gives you the ability to be the best Mom for your child and the power of forgiveness for the father...
    mom2mybabes

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 11:47 AM on Jun. 11, 2009

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