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How do other SAHM work with their husbands/boyfriends regarding money?

I am a sahm of 1 kid only because i cant find a job these days i apply to jobs everyday if there is any and i cant find any. I got laid off from my job due to this economy and i no longer recieve unemployment. Just a question. How do other sahmoms deal with money? I mean i dont have access to my fiances accnt or anything and he never has cash only his card. It just makes me mad because he doesnt grocery shop but there is NO FOOD in the house and he wont let me take the card to buy it and he is too lazy to go shopping. How do you "share"?


Asked by Anonymous at 8:18 PM on Jun. 10, 2009 in Money & Work

This question is closed.
Answers (63)
  • maybe he's afraid you will overcharge. ask to see the finances and start to get involved more and more with how things work... u may realize there is no money to go buy anything on...I replied earlier but we are very budgety in this house I dont expect to be able to go buy whatever I want cuz if I buy a shirt for myslef electricty might get cut get involved so you know how much money there is and what bills need to be paid and when

    Answer by Dom123123 at 8:38 PM on Jun. 10, 2009

  • wow good question. well since ive been prego i havent worked at a bit before that.
    but I have money to buy food so theres no prob there
    but I use his card as if it is mine...were not married but he trusts me
    i only need it for here and there types of things but he never says no he just asks what it is for and thats it.. we do the bills the math whiz and number cruncher and always know about our finances so I think that plays a big part in it

    Answer by Dom123123 at 8:22 PM on Jun. 10, 2009

  • i am lucky to not have this problem. im a SAHM, but my SO always makes sure the kids and i have what we need. and he gives me his card if i say we need to go grocery shopping. do you think your guy would do that for you if you asked? i hope you work this all out. finances are such a frustrationg thing.

    Answer by mama_moonsong at 8:22 PM on Jun. 10, 2009

  • --original poster-
    no my fiance will not let me touch his card, even when the car is out of gas and i need to go somewhere, oh well have to have someone else take me. if i asked him if i could get something and he had some cash on him, ya he would give it to me to get what i wanted or needed, but he rarely has cash on him. its a pain in the butt, he pays bills online, but i applied for food stamps since we dont make enough for just his income and we have a son. and when i get that at least i can do some grocery shopping, its just i wish sometimes he would say "hey if u want to go shopping and buy yourself or our son something here is the limit you have to spend here is the card" but no. I just dont know if I should be recieving an "allowance" or something if other sahm do? I mean i do tons of work around the house and dealing with our 10 month old son.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:27 PM on Jun. 10, 2009

  • We are married so everything we have is ours. I have access to our family money. Since you are not married I can see why he keeps things seperate. You need to let him know if he is going to do that he needs to buy groceries. If he refuses might be time to move on since that is not any kind of relationship.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:28 PM on Jun. 10, 2009

  • It's all OUR money, though he gets a perk every now and then...

    Answer by writeon at 8:29 PM on Jun. 10, 2009

  • I am in control of everything. His pay is direct deposited in to our account. I have the main card, although he has one too, but I monitor everything he spends cause he likes to shop and bounce charges. There is no way I would be married to a man that didn't at least give me access to our money. When you are married there is no longger a my money and your money - It's just family money!

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 8:32 PM on Jun. 10, 2009

  • I've started babysittiing for money so I can buy small stuff that we need.He doesnt ask what I spend the money I earn on but I tell him anyway.And his paychecks...we talk about what needs to be paid and he usually gives me his bank card and I pay the bills over the phone.If theres something I need and don't have the money for it, he gives it to me without me even having to ask.I guess I got pretty lucky, huh?lol.
    My ex husband was greedy with money and would lie and say he had none when stuff needed to be paid.HaHa..and thats part of the reason he's my EX,lol.

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 8:32 PM on Jun. 10, 2009

  • My advice after reading you second post... RUN! If he is so controling that you can't pay for gas because it's his money... It's only gonna head down hill from here!

    Start checking out some at home opportunities if you don't want to or can't find a way to go back to work. I work from home and just turned down an opportunity to work an At home full time JOB, so I know it can be done!

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 8:34 PM on Jun. 10, 2009

  • --original poster-

    i do know exactly how much is in his accnt i am the one who sits down and says these bills need to be paid on these dates, we have no money problems our rent is so cheap, i do all the finances he just takes his credit card and goes online and hits submit payment.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:41 PM on Jun. 10, 2009