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Do I tell DD that her Dad tried to commit suicide

My EX who is a dumbass to begin with. Was taken to the Psych ward at the ER on DD's 13 bday. He was 6x over the legal limit of alchol and took some pills and was holding a knife to his throat. He isn't the least bit concerend over this. I have not told DD because one He did this on her bday and two I don't want to burden her with that kind of pain. My concern is DD finding out from somebody else? Unfortunatley the psych lt him go as soon as he sobered up. I am afraid since he has visitation with DD that this might happen again. I can't legally stop visitation with out taking him to court.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:06 AM on Jun. 11, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (7)
  • I suggest telling her. She needs to know, but not all the details. Let her know her dad is sick and is getting help. If she asks about suicide, be honest. Otherwise just give her the gist of it. She will be more hurt should someone else tell her. It might help you to write it down first so you can look over it before you tell her, get the wording correct for her age.

    Good luck and I am sorry you have to go through this. You may want to take this to court to stop visitation or have at least minimal, supervised visits.
    Psylocke

    Answer by Psylocke at 10:10 AM on Jun. 11, 2009

  • Maybe you could not make it like a suicide thing, but just an overdose crazy moment. My concern is that if a parent commits suicide then a child's stats go way up on the likely hood that they will commit suicide. The reason is it suddenly becomes an option for them in hard times. Im sure he has other psych. problems so maybe you could tell her he abused substances and it almost killed him.
    ria7

    Answer by ria7 at 10:11 AM on Jun. 11, 2009

  • Try to gently explain the situation to her, also would be good for all if you were able to have a coversation with her and her father. I know that somtimes this is difficult but would be good for her and your piece of mind, also check with an attorney you may be able to get temporary full custody do to an unsafe environment. while you are waiting for court. might be good if you think she may be in danger.
    jmann83

    Answer by jmann83 at 10:47 AM on Jun. 11, 2009

  • I agree with the previous posters. Make sure to be as honest as possible. It will be very difficult for her to hear, but its important that she knows the truth.

    I am also so sorry to hear that your going through this. One thing I have told my neice that may help you, is when she asked my why she was born to a drug addicted mother, and I told her that its because she has the strength inside her to deal with it. If she wasn't strong enough to handle this, then she wouldn't be given this situation.

    Good luck.
    mommyaunt412

    Answer by mommyaunt412 at 12:04 PM on Jun. 11, 2009

  • i agree completely with ria7
    momma323

    Answer by momma323 at 12:24 PM on Jun. 11, 2009

  • I am on the fence on this one. My bff's ex ended his life the day before his DD's birthday. These kids are pretty messed up over it. If he is still alive, I think I would let it go. My main concern at this point is her safety when she is in his custody. I would get a lawyer toot sweet and explain the situation and that you fear for her safety. He is an adult, he is going to do what he wants. She is a minor, she needs your protection. Deal with that first and the rest can take care of itself. Good luck.
    salexander

    Answer by salexander at 1:23 PM on Jun. 11, 2009

  • I agree with the first poster. Maybe you can get an attorney. Some will allow you to pay them off..but at least get it started. esp if he is a drinker. :( I personally feel that she should probably not see him until he is feeling better. I just don't think that our children need to see their parents when they are weak like that. Our parents are human yes...but they are our leaders and what make us strong. I might explain this to her father as well. Explain kindly to him that it is in his and her best interest. I would not want my kids to ever feel it was ok behavior.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:22 PM on Jun. 11, 2009

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