Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

I am so hurt. My husband left his phone home today and I snooped and found a picture from a woman…she said she wishes he were there.

She was on vacation…and then I saw his respond telling her that she’s beautiful and to send him some naughty pictures. Then I saw a picture that he sent of her of his thing. I AM SO MAD. I want to fight him..literally. And I am not a violent person. I am just crushed and hurt. He works outside with no phone so there is no way of contacting him. I will confront him tonight. I’m not sure how he met this person but the number is from another state and my husband’s time is accounted for so I know he’s not seeing her…but probably is carrying on a telephone affair or whatever.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:18 AM on Jun. 11, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (26)
  • OP>>>>more info....
    He and I have been together for 13 years, married for 5 with a 6 year old son. I’m having a baby in September. We both work and make around the same amount of money and we “seemed” to have a very normal relationship. We are very dedicated parents to our son. To be honest our personal relationship is not the best but we don’t argue and fight, etc. We are very good friends. This is not the first time something of this nature has happened…At what point do you leave? We have a lot invested together. No bashing please. I don’t have ANYONE to talk to about this…I am a very strong woman. I just needed to vent here in privacy and ask MATURE married women their opinions.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:19 AM on Jun. 11, 2009

  • wow, hmm... idk what i'd do i'd like to sy i'd leave him, but idk if i would or not, however, the trust would be GONE
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:20 AM on Jun. 11, 2009

  • I would talk to him and see what he has to say... If he cant explain what he did (I dont know what a good explanation would be) then I would tell him he needs to get out until he realized what he did and how bad it hurt you... In my eyes that is still cheating... no woman should have to deal with this.... I dealt with this before me and my boyfriend ever got together so i know i didnt have it as bad as you..... but just stay strong and listen to what he has to say
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:24 AM on Jun. 11, 2009

  • Please don't be naive in thinking that this is just over the phone because it's not. He is cheating and ss.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:24 AM on Jun. 11, 2009

  • I would be crushed if I were to find something like that.Does he go on the internet often? She could be someone that he's been talking to online.I know myself...and if that were me to have found that I would be stewing till he got home, going thru every little thing he owns to see if I could find any other "evidence" of fowl play,lol...this may not be the best idea for you to do.The"mature" thing to do..I guess would be to wait and confront him about it when he got home.Be carefeul not to shove the phone up his nose and out his a-hole.I would demand answers.Who is she?HAve they met in person, are there others?and WHY?!?! If no actual PHYSICAL cheating has taken place as of yet, maybe there is hope for your relationship..and by you finding this could open up conversation as to what the 2 of you need to do to make you guys closer.If physical cheating has occurred,REAL contact...get a lawyer and run the smuck in the ground.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:26 AM on Jun. 11, 2009

  • I am not bashing, maybe just trying to have you see the light.
    You maybe a very best friend for him, but from what you wrote, I do not see him being your friend.
    So you have alot invested, most of us did at one time.
    How about respect for yourself. Sounds like this may not be the first time something like this has happened before.
    For me personally there would be no excuse for his behavior, he has been dishonest and quite frankly he has betrayed you.
    I would have his stuff packed. Your house is not a home, a safe place when there are lies in it.
    You sound independent, why on earth would you want a man who makes a fool out of you.
    You deserve better, I hope one day that you see that.
    Dannee

    Answer by Dannee at 10:27 AM on Jun. 11, 2009

  • It'd be easy for me to sit here and tell you to leave... all in all, you're the only one who can decide that. I would sure as hell jump his ass when he got home of course... and if you give him another chance, I'd make him change his phone number (or get rid of the phone all together) and I'd call the woman he's been talking to and give her a piece of my mind.
    I wish I could give you a hug, I know you must be hurting. But time heals all wounds, it will go away.
    Gremlyn

    Answer by Gremlyn at 10:28 AM on Jun. 11, 2009

  • wowsers. I would be soo mad at first and then I would be sad and then I would start to plot. I would call this women and tell who you are. Dont like yell or what ever but calmly ask whats up. Then once she gives you the info you want Id tear into to her. Once I have all the info I could I would have the phone in my pocket and when POSDH comes home I would act as if all was well. Sit down to dinner or what ever it is that you do put your son to bed and when all is calm say oh yeah you forgot this today AND CHUCK IT AT HIS FING FACE. Not not really but ask him if there was anything he wants to tell you and give him the chance to come clean. If he lies tell him what you know and go from there. No one can answer the question of whats truelly in your heart. Good luck. It really stinks that he pit you in this situation.

    lostshel

    Answer by lostshel at 10:32 AM on Jun. 11, 2009

  • HUGS!! I can imagine how hurt and betrayed you must feel. I suggest you show the phone to your husband and talk to him, let him know how you feel. If you want to keep the marriage then let him know he has to cut ALL contact with her and block her from his phone. I would also suggest marriage counseling to help you get thru this. If you do not want to keep the marriage then I would find a divorce lawyer and show him the texts and pictures and start the ball rolling for custody and child support. Whatever you decide to do I wish you the best of luck, and hope everything works out for you!!
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 10:35 AM on Jun. 11, 2009

  • You have all day to think about what you want to say to him. I would probably rehearse my little "speech" before delivering it to him in person. It would go something like this: " When I married you, I believed it was for life. I also had certain expectations. Among those was that I expected you to be 100% faithful to me, just I intended to be 100% faithful to you. I have kept my end of the bargain. Apparently you have not. So, you have some important decisions to make, and you need to make them pretty quickly. You need to decide whether or not this marriage and these children are of enough value to you to forsake all other women, as you vowed to do. You have _____ number of days to decide. I will be awaiting your decision." You must let him know that you are not going to share his affections with this woman nor with anyone else. Put the responsibility squarely where it belongs, and that's on him!!
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 10:35 AM on Jun. 11, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.