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I can't stand her....

DH has this friend he went to school with. She caused major issues in my marriage, she called DH twice a week, weekly. She called DH and ask him if she could stay a few days with us. He let her come visit and she flirted with him the whole time, and told me about how he'd ditch me to go see her and he lied about where he was going. I told her off. She found him on Facebook and she has sent him a few messages, I read them and I was like oh hell no. DH is NOT interested in her that way, he's just blind to see how she still really likes him. DH's facebook is linked to my email, he knows and he has me read the messages. I am not snooping, he told me to read the messages. I am not jealous, but she needs to back off. She is married with 2 kids.. I figured she would've moved on and she hasn't. How would you handle this?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:49 AM on Jun. 11, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • Do you know her husband? If you do, tell him what his wife is up to...don't hesitate and don't think that its the wrong thing to do because it isn't . She's trying to destroy your marriage because hers isnt what she wants...so before she comes in between you and your dh, tell her husband so the two of them can begin to deal with the issues she has in thier relationship, giving her no time to mess with yours...
    mom2mybabes

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 11:13 AM on Jun. 11, 2009

  • I would send her an email and inform her that if she does not stop this behavior you will be forced to tell her husband. but if you don't want to go that route just tell her man and let it go from there.
    lovemybaby283

    Answer by lovemybaby283 at 10:53 AM on Jun. 11, 2009

  • I know men can be naive when women flirt with them, but I think your DH may like the ego stroke and just plays it off like he doesn't know anything. He needs to quit talking to her and tell her firmly and not-so-nicely, that he doesn't like the way she acts toward him.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:00 AM on Jun. 11, 2009

  • Meet up with her accidentally, by car. Tell her to roll down her window. Tell her point blank to stop it with your husabnd. Tell her you know where she lives and that you will tell her husband .Or get a friend to do it for you. She is a slut and needs to be corrected.Honestly I would bust her a@@.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:09 AM on Jun. 11, 2009

  • All above are good answers. She is totally wrong for what she's doing, but let's face it. Your hubby isn't innocent either. If he were, he would have told her very clearly that he's in love with you and only you, and would do nothing to ruin your relationship. If she couldn't respect that then he should have told her to get lost. Since he hasn't, maybe he does have feelings for her. Maybe it is all about ego. Are you 100% certain that he hasn't been unfaithful with her?
    I would definately get in touch with her hubby some how, and see what happens when he knows the truth about his wife. She's destroying two families. Not just fun and games anymore. She should know better.
    lighthousemom3

    Answer by lighthousemom3 at 11:30 AM on Jun. 11, 2009

  • I told DH and he told me to delete her. He said her and I just conflict to much and he doesn't want her causing issues again.
    Idk if he's been unfaithful with her. Sometimes I wonder. She is just a conniving bitch. Her Facebook has no pictures of her husband, just of her and her kids. I was thisclose to sending her a message and telling her how it is. She knows DH added me on Facebook, so instead of writing on his wall she will send messages, knowing I would be able to read his wall but she doesn't know DH has me read the messages. One message she said "Omg, how are you? I have missed you soooo much and I love you!" DH is like wtf..
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:51 AM on Jun. 11, 2009

  • talk to her husband. She is his responsibility
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:06 PM on Jun. 11, 2009

  • I don't think that it is your place to be fighting for your husband, what is this high school drama? He has lied to you to go and see her? Was there any truth to her statement to this effect?

    He may be naive, let's give him the benefit of the doubt but if her friendship with this woman makes you upset for whatever reason, you need to tell your husband that you no longer approve of his friendship with this women because she will bring nothing but misery to your relationship with her actions. He wouldn't approve if it was the other way around. Flirting, creating problems, etc. So put your foot down and talk with him, you have no business exposing her behavior to her husband, it is your husband who needs to cut off ties with her for the simple reason that she annoys you and you are his priority.
    bebita

    Answer by bebita at 12:31 PM on Jun. 11, 2009

  • I agree with admckenzie...your husband needs to be the one to take initiative to stop this. I think he should of stopped her on the first innapropiate message, him being silent is probably welcoming the behavior more. good luck!
    LuvmyFam6

    Answer by LuvmyFam6 at 12:33 PM on Jun. 11, 2009

  • Stop reading her messages, stop the whole face book crap. It is your husband's responsibility to put her on her place with something like: Let me remind you that I am a happily married man, your comments like "I love you", are inappropriate in nature given that we are both married people, so please cease all contact with me immediately and have a nice, peaceful existence.

    Then, instruct your dh not to answer her calls or nothing, if she does call him at home, he can tell her for one last time that he is no longer interested in her friendship as she had crossed some boundaries and that you both would appreciate if she could no longer call him. After that ignore her completely.

    Your dh needs to man up and show where his priorities lay.
    bebita

    Answer by bebita at 12:38 PM on Jun. 11, 2009