Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

What do you say to a 15 year old who says she is only attracted to girls?

This is a young lady I am mentoring. She knows my stand on this issue. Telling her she is still young yet and her studies should be priority, doesn't get it for her. I've even given her scripture passages to read, hoping she will see that God does not approve of same sex relationships. Since someone told her that God made her attractive to girls, that makes it's ok. I could use some help!

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:52 AM on Jun. 11, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (14)
  • Tell her: While I don't necessarily agree with you liking girls, I still love you and will stand by you no matter what. It is not my place to judge you..it is God's. I will be there for you and support you fully. Because I don't have to love your lifestyle to love you unconditionally.
    BradenIsMySon

    Answer by BradenIsMySon at 10:56 AM on Jun. 11, 2009

  • she is what she is and you cant change her! you have no right to try to change her. she cant help shes attracted to girls. your very wrong for trying to change her and you wont change her but she will hate you for it! i have a few gay friends that are religious so it has nothing to do with god!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:56 AM on Jun. 11, 2009

  • Maybe instead of telling her that she is sinning and how wrong she is you can try to understand that she isn't "choosing" to like other girls. She came to you and you aren't helping. You need to try to understand that it could be a phase or she could be gay. Do you love her either way? If you are not careful about how you talk to her you could drive her away. Parents that react the way you are end up with kids that have drug /alcohol problems, homeless(from running away) or worse. PM me if you want to talk more. Understand that I am not bashing and I hope that what I wrote doesn;t sound mean or rude.... Please just hear her out and let her know that you love her nomatter what.
    heather.darin

    Answer by heather.darin at 10:56 AM on Jun. 11, 2009

  • Just stop and calm down. The scripture stuff is only going to make it worse. She might be going through a phase, she might not be, either way that is only going to push her away from you. If you've let her know how you feel then you've let her know. Remember, teens like to be rebels. And a lot of teens go through a phase where they think they are attracted to the same sex and then it turns out to be nothing. Just try and step back and be objective, I know that is hard to do. But remember, religion aside and views aside, kids are going to act more to the way you react. So just try to be calm. Good luck:)

    ajguinn

    Answer by ajguinn at 10:58 AM on Jun. 11, 2009

  • So disown her! That'll teach her for "choosing" to like other girls! Throw her out of your home because she's going against God's will! Make sure that by the time you come to your senses, she hates you.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:22 AM on Jun. 11, 2009

  • i agree with ajquinn. stop pushin that its wrong. shes young, shes prolly not rly lesbian, shes prolly juss experimenting. juss tell her its her choice n get over it.
    i dont agree that its "bad" or w/e. ppl are who they are.
    explain to me why its bad exactly? why does it say in the bible that its not good???
    i dont understand why ur givin her scriptures. shes FIFTEEN. shes not hearin any of it trust me
    momma323

    Answer by momma323 at 12:11 PM on Jun. 11, 2009

  • That although you may not agree with her life choices, you are there for her and love her unconditionally. Teach her about safe sex and support her. What else can you do? Your not understanding or liking it is not going to change things. You will just lose her in the end.
    salexander

    Answer by salexander at 1:19 PM on Jun. 11, 2009

  • IF THIS 15 YEAR OLD IS ATTRACTED TO GIRLS, MOE THAN LIKELY SHE IS A HOMOSEXUAL AND IS TRYING TO UNDERSTAND. YOU TELLING HER GOD DOES NOT APPROVE OF SAME SEX RELATIONS IS NOT BEING A GOOD MENTOR, YOU NEED TO LET HER FIND HERSELF ON HER OWN, AND THEN STAND BY HER WHEN SHE DOES, EVEN IF YOU DON'T APPROVE BECAUSE OF YOUR RELIGION, SHE IS FIRST A HUMAN BEING, IT IS TRAUMATIC ENOUGH THAT SHE IS NOW REALIZING WHO SHE IS TO ADD TO IT YOUR BIBLE TEACHINGS. IT IS TOO MUCH FOR A YOUNG MIND TO BEAR. IF YOU WANT TO BE A GOOD MENTOR, STAND BY HER WITH COMPASSION AND LOVE AND SEE HER FOR THE PERSON SHE IS NO THE ONE THE BIBLE TALKS ABOUT.
    GOD DID MADE HER AND LOVES HER JUST THE WAY SHE IS, GIVE HER SOME TIME AND SPACE AND SHE WILL SORT THINGS OUT, WHAT YOU CANNOT DO IS TELL HER SHE IS AN ABOMINATION AND SHE IS GOING TO HELL, EVEN IF THAT IS WHAT YOU ARE THINKING. REMEMBER ONLY GOD IS JUDGE.
    older

    Answer by older at 3:17 PM on Jun. 11, 2009

  • dont judge her

    and support her

    and if she brings a girl in welcome her
    lanlan

    Answer by lanlan at 6:09 PM on Jun. 11, 2009

  • Support here. Make sure she "feels" accepted and loved! It is after all her feelings, her life!
    Loryl

    Answer by Loryl at 8:02 PM on Jun. 11, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.