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Question about my MIL.......would you take her in???

My MIL and her 18 year old daughter may be going to live in a womens shelter, and I don't feel that I should take them in. We let more than half of her kids, and she has 7 live with us at one time when we just had a 2 bedroom apartment. Now that Priscilla moved out, who is just a year younger than my DH my MIL has just given up, won't find a job and is sending all of her boys, and that's 3 of them up to Nevada to live with their dad. I already have 1 BIL that lived in our house that we just moved into, but he is just renting a room since we have 4 bedrooms and only 2 kids. No one is working either and they don't even have a car, so I want to know what you would do.

Answer Question

Asked by chelcityrocks at 11:32 AM on Jun. 11, 2009 in Relationships

Level 5 (58 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • How does your SO/DH feel about this sense it is his Mom?

    Answer by louise2 at 11:46 AM on Jun. 11, 2009

  • It doesn't sound like your MIL is particularly stable - or interested in being stable. Is the 18 year old still in high school? If so, I think I'd consider allowing her to stay with me. If your MIL won't find a job, you'd just be taking on another mouth to feed and body to shelter. If you and your husband do decide to allow them to move in with you, I think I'd make sure she understands that it's for just a specific amount of time and that she's expected to contribute to the household...then stick to your guns! Is your MIL mentally healthy?

    Answer by Happywith2girls at 11:50 AM on Jun. 11, 2009

  • no I wouldn't take her in if she's not willing to do anything to improve her situation. I would make that very clear too if I was approached with taking her in.
    If she was doing something to help herself and her kids, like getting a job. that would be a different story.

    Answer by litlsuzzy at 11:56 AM on Jun. 11, 2009

  • If you enable her she'll never figure her life out. Let her do it on her own. Maybe the shelter will teach her how to be independent and take care of herself.

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:05 PM on Jun. 11, 2009

  • Being family I'd say your relationship is too close to encourage/coerce her into doing the right thing. She needs to get a job to take care of herself and her daughter. If you let her move in you will most likely feel pressured to take it easy on her because she is your husband's mother. This will do nothing to help her. If the daughter is still in school (if I were in your shoes) I would offer to take her in while her mother is trying to work things out. If she has graduated then it's time for her to find a job as well. Some lessons can only be effectively learned the hard way.

    Answer by sillyt at 12:54 PM on Jun. 11, 2009

  • Before I would take anyone in I would set the ground rules--
    #1- pitch in and help out with housework/dishes/laundry and clean up after yourself,
    I am NOT a maid and will not wait on you hand and foot.
    #2- rent-- you live here you pay rent and contribute to household expenses (food, phone, cable, power/light)
    #3- time limit-- boarders/guests are like fish they start to stink after 3 days... I would let them know upfront that this is temporary not permanant. they are welcome but have xxxxx days/weeks/month to find a permanant place to live
    Good luck!

    Answer by MizLee at 3:10 PM on Jun. 11, 2009

  • That's my husbands mother. This wouldn't even be a question. She would be welcome, no questions asked.

    Answer by Chrissy629 at 11:49 AM on Jun. 14, 2009

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