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How can I get my tween mildly austistic daughter friends?

She's so lonely and all of the typical kids avoid her and autistic kids like her aren't in our neighborhood. It is especially hurtful now that she's 11 and the girls next door to us avoid her. It breaks my heart. She talks to her stuffed animals and I talk back for them -- it's the only nonparental dialogue she has. I'm divorced - she's my only.


Asked by terry6202 at 11:52 AM on Jun. 11, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

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Answers (15)
  • Mama, your story just breaks my heart. Im so sorry your daughter is going through this. Kids can be so mean and cruel. I dont really have any advice to offer other than what these good ladies have mentioned. I just wanted to know that i am pulling for you and your daughter!

    Answer by dragonfly7271 at 12:30 AM on Jun. 13, 2009

  • Does she to school?

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:58 AM on Jun. 11, 2009

  • Yes, she goes to school - about to graduate from the 5th grade - and not a friend in the class. Even her teacher said my daughter has no friends and he's been awesome in helping her mature. The kids don't bully her but they ignore her. At the YMCA summer camp she has an aide and then she makes friends, but it's only the summer. She even wants me to get in touch with long-lost selfish relatives so her cousins can go on vacation with us this summer. ? At Saturday theater class for autistic kids, the kids there were severely autistic and couldn't speak so she doesn't want to go back there.

    Answer by terry6202 at 12:16 PM on Jun. 11, 2009

  • *hugs* I know what you go through. My 10 yr old is an only and is so lonely (she has PDD-NOS). She has one friend in school that she likes. Certain girls she's known since kindy avoid her big time refering to her as "weird." Her other two best friends live in other towns so we don't see them as often.

    Is there a girl in her class she gets along with? If so, find out the mother's name and set up a playdate. I'm planning on doing that myself. My daughter isn't one to call others and ask them to play. So as a parent I have to take that step for her. I know she'll be excited in seeing her friend. Perhaps that may work for her.

    Good luck.

    Answer by Spree at 12:23 PM on Jun. 11, 2009

  • It is the same for my son. he is 11 and just got out of 5th grade as well. No friends at school. The kids at school were so mean. We are goin to use online school next year. At home his "friends" are fickle. Sometimes they come over....sometimes they have much better things to do. Im sorry you and your child must endure this as well.

    Answer by ColleenF30 at 1:41 PM on Jun. 11, 2009

  • I think that going to organized sports helped us an awful lot. It helped me too. I didn't know anyone. We started playing ball with brec, and with a couple of church leagues. I kept running into the same parents, soon our kids were friends, and so were we. I also used to shop the fun section for family events. You would be surprised. Fun and everyone wins.

    Answer by treasure4463 at 2:20 PM on Jun. 11, 2009

  • i would put her in girl our troop we have kids with mild learning own daughter has a iep...and we have girls that are smart.its low key and the kids are sapossed to be nice.ot 4-h....maybe she would like the daughter loves animals.and there is a girl in the troop whose not autistic but has real lerning dis..and she swims.dont go to the ymca look for someplace else.i daughter didnt learn at the y or at the town actvities.we had to go outwards and it worked.

    Answer by raineydays377 at 2:50 PM on Jun. 11, 2009

  • do you have a parent to parent program in your area for parents of autistic kids? if so plan an outing with them. she may be able to find friends thru that.

    Answer by justgrape723 at 4:06 PM on Jun. 11, 2009

  • My neighbor has an autistic nephew and the kids around here avoid him like the plague. My son will play with him for a bit, but he (the nephew) scares my son by making the "squeals/grunts" when he doesn't get his own way. Hang in there girl! I'm pulling for ya both!

    Answer by Starfire73 at 4:57 PM on Jun. 11, 2009

  • I wanted to come back to this and see if anyone's elses answers helped. I'm pulling for you two, I really am and I swear Parents that can take care of Autistic or retarded(or whatever the politically correct term is, please forgive me if it isn't the right word) children are total angels!!! I know I don't have the patience. God bless girl!

    Answer by Starfire73 at 8:25 AM on Jun. 12, 2009