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Should I say something or should I stay silent?

I told my now ex on Monday that he never has to see me or hear from me again because obviously wants to be left alone. He is an alcoholic and only comes around every once in awhile before shutting us out again. Then he treats me like crap and ignores me. Right before I sent this e-mail, he had ignored me for four days, even avoiding plans that he had made with me.

The past two days I have received an e-mail from him. The first was telling me that he will give me what I want and leave me alone. The second he said that the longer he is ignored, the more final it becomes.

I just don't know what to do, he ignores me all the time because he feels like it or because of his "problems" and when it is the other way around, he can't handle it and now I'm the bad guy. Plus, I don't feel like I am ignoring him, I told him that he will never have to hear from me again.

I love him but I know that he will never change.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:01 PM on Jun. 11, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • he's manipulating you. He's playing head games. that is what alcoholics do. Delete his emails. Don't let him lure you back into his chaotic life feeling sorry for him or feeling guilty. They love playing those cards to keep you under their thumb. I had to delete my email account mine knew about to get him to quit emailing me.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:19 PM on Jun. 11, 2009

  • Your right HE will never change..
    You are the only one that CAN change...
    What could you possible love about an alcholic..
    They do nothing but drag you around with their screwed up moods.
    You need to take control of your own life and your own actions.
    You are allowing him to pull you around on a string..
    If you have children, that is ONE HUGE reason to get away from him
    for good!!
    Dannee

    Answer by Dannee at 12:32 PM on Jun. 11, 2009

  • He is controlling you. He knows that you care about him, you may not love him, but he knows that he is important to you. Because of this he is taking advantage of you and his child. The most important thing you need to do is move on for your family's sake. He thinks that you will sit around and wait for him and that should not be the case. You need to show your kid that you all are more important than what your ex will give you credit for. For your sake move on. If he sees that you are not waiting for him it might wake him up a bit. If not, then it is his loss. You need to be happy though.  Don't say anything else to him.  At this point let it be up to him, but when your kid get older tell them that it was his choice.  The more your kids are around him the more likely they are to become alcoholics themselves.

    krissyvelazquez

    Answer by krissyvelazquez at 1:17 PM on Jun. 11, 2009

  • Walk away and don't look back.
    jaimie175

    Answer by jaimie175 at 1:48 PM on Jun. 11, 2009

  • Alcoholics and druggies are very good at manipulation. He will do what he wants to do regardless of you. Walk away.. walk away and don't look back. You're not the bad guy. You are protecting yourself and child(ren) from the mental/emotional hurt he can cause. Stay strong mama stick to your guns. IMO you did the right thing. I have a similar situation.. sperm-donor isn't an alcholic or anything like that but is more trouble than he's worth. I'm not looking back
    alinker

    Answer by alinker at 5:50 PM on Jun. 11, 2009

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