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should he call him daddy?

i have a 2 year old son whos dad lives in northern CA and has only seen his son 3 times since hes been born, i was 18 when we were together and i got pregnant and needless to say he wasnt thrilled, after 5 months of trying to make it work for the baby he dumped me and i moved back with my parents in SOCal. i am 21 now and getting married to a great guy on august 8th and i am 3 months pregnant with his child, we are both really happy and looking forward to getting married and starting our new lives together. my problem is im wondering if i should have my son call my fiance dad or not because he hardly knows his own dad and i just dont know what appropritate in this situation? my fiance loves my son and treats him like his own but it still makes me uncomfortable? i dont know why though. anyone have advice or a similar situation? that would be greatly appreciated.

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Asked by bradynsmom222 at 2:36 PM on Jun. 11, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (21)
  • i would leave it to your son. what does he call your fiance now? just let him continue to call him that and if as he gets older he decides he wants to call him dad he can. once you have your new baby and your fiance starts being called dad you may find your son automatically takes to calling him dad b/c that is what he hears all the time.

    Answer by vabchmommy at 2:39 PM on Jun. 11, 2009

  • let ur son decide

    Answer by tiffandgene2009 at 2:39 PM on Jun. 11, 2009

  • he doesnt call him anything he is just starting to talk and i just refer to my fiance as his name to my son so i dont know yet i guess what my son calls him

    Answer by bradynsmom222 at 2:40 PM on Jun. 11, 2009

  • Let your son work that out. WHen my mom dated and then married her now ex-husband, i called him by his name which was David, then began calling him daddy-david and then eventually just Daddy. Your son will work out what works for him.

    Answer by MommyLee08 at 2:44 PM on Jun. 11, 2009

  • I agree with the other ladies. don't force him to or try to get him to. My son is 22 mos && his dad hasn't seen him since he was 5 months old. He calls my SO "daddy" mostly b/c he hears his kids calling him that, but we don't try to correct him b/c he is just too young to understand && my SO doesn't mind it. We do plan on getting married in the future && when my son is about 5 we are going to explain everything to him && let him decide if he wants to continue calling him daddy or start calling him by his name. I would just let him continue calling him whatever he calls him already.

    Answer by HisMommySince07 at 2:45 PM on Jun. 11, 2009

  • if you are that uncomfortable with it, then just teach him to call him by his name && let him decide later when he is old enough.

    Answer by HisMommySince07 at 2:46 PM on Jun. 11, 2009

  • well i have a daughter and she's only 2 but my boyfriend has been there for her since she was 2 months old doin everything a dad should and i want her to call him dad. she already started and idk how..we dont say the D word around her. but out of nowhere when he left she said bye daddy. and i will allow it only cuz he has been there for her almost since day one and he treats her as his own. her biological father saw her once when she was 3 weeks old. so in both our eyes my boyfriend is daddy. it doesnt matter if the guy is the biological father or not..its the man that takes care of her like a daughter that deserves to be called daddy!

    Answer by kuuipo317 at 2:46 PM on Jun. 11, 2009

  • any guy can make a baby but it takes a real man to take care of a baby! especially if its not his own. that jus makes them the bigger better man! truelly a gift when you are in that kind of a situation! im thankful for my man!

    Answer by kuuipo317 at 2:47 PM on Jun. 11, 2009

  • If you are uncomfortable with the name 'daddy' then what about a different name- like pop, papa, papi, dad.... maybe pick something that your new baby can use too. What does your fiancee think? Does he have a specific name he would like to be called by?
    what about your son calling him 'dad steve' (or whatever his name is) and his birth dad be plain dad?

    Answer by MizLee at 2:48 PM on Jun. 11, 2009

  • I don't think you should "have" him call him dad. If he wants to call him dad, I think that's fine because he is playing that role in his life. I do think it's important that if he starts calling him dad that you explain on a level he can understand that he also has a biological father.

    Answer by riotgrrl at 3:06 PM on Jun. 11, 2009

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