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I think I'm the one who ruined my Son's relationship with his father. Did I?

I lied to the father of my son in order to get me pregnant. See I knew he didn't really want to be with me. I told him that there was no way I could get pregnant, I told him I had no ovaries. He believed me. I got pregnant and he was very unhappy. When the baby was born, he left me but still paid Child support and picked my son up one weekend out of the month. He got married, I was jealous. I started trouble with him and his new wife. I took them to court. Kept my son from them. Falsly accused them of abuse in order to keep my son for the Thanksgiving holiday. His wife was very good to my son, my son loves her and I called her names and fought with her purposely. Now I know it was because I was jealous. He loved her and never loved me. Now they have their own little girl and he doesn't pick up my son anymore. He won't answer my calls, or texts. Did I do too much damage? Did I make my son's father give up?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:36 PM on Jun. 11, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (28)
  • Sounds to me like you already know. Leave them alone and give them some time and perhaps they will accept your son back in their life and when they do, leave them alone.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:38 PM on Jun. 11, 2009

  • Wow. Poor guy. Yes, you did cause it and I really hope for your son's sake you fix it
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:39 PM on Jun. 11, 2009

  • That's horrible and YES - I am sorry for your son's loss.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:39 PM on Jun. 11, 2009

  • And I bet the whole time you were pulling all that crap you were only thinking of yourself and not the kid you brought into the world. Sad. Now he suffer's and his dad's family suffers because of your stupidity. Good Job!
    mrsmendoza2006

    Answer by mrsmendoza2006 at 3:46 PM on Jun. 11, 2009

  • Your poor son. If you really love your son you will find away to get his father back into his life. My brothers ex has done this with their daughter. My brother was accused of molesting her. It cost him thousands to clear his name. He hated his daughter had to be questioned and was called a liar but she did finally admit her mom and grandmother made her say it. My brother has no contact with his daughter. He has 3 small children at home now with his current wife. He will not risk his teen daughter harming them or accusing him again of anything. His ex is a vile person and I think it is the worst form of child abuse to alienate a child from their parent especially if they love them. YOU can fix this for you son. You need to do this for your son. You can finally be a good mom and allow him to have a relationship with his dad. If you don't you will regret it and your child will hate you.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:47 PM on Jun. 11, 2009

  • You know the answer to the question already now don't you??? How could you do that? You've probably just dug your own grave where your son is concerned. He will figure it out one day and hate you for the rest of his life... how sad that you couldn't grow up enough to be a decent parent to your child.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:50 PM on Jun. 11, 2009

  • I can't believe you actually have to ask other people this. Yes, you did ruin your son's relationship with his father. Yes, you do need to accept all the blame for this one. There are so many deadbeat parents out there, so many of us single moms who would love nothing more than for our ex-husbands and children's fathers to step up and take responsbility, and then there's someone like you who actively interferes with the father trying to have a relationship with his son. I think you need to get some therapy, apologize to your son's father and his wife, and give them the chance to rebuild their relationship. If you don't, you will have only yourself to blame when your son is grown and decides he doesn't want to have a relationship with you.
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 3:53 PM on Jun. 11, 2009

  • Very sad indeed. He probably does miss his son...but, dealing with you and your bs was not worth the headaches. Now, that he has another family to take care of....he has to put them first. Especially if your a trouble maker for them. Give him some time..he may come around. I would hope you behave and respect if he does start to come around again. Please put your child first!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:54 PM on Jun. 11, 2009

  • I feel bad for your son because honestly, I don't think he will be accepted back. Do you know that a even a false call to CPS can make someone's life horrible. If I were his new wife, I would never let your son back in my home for fear it would compromise my childs life. I hope you've grown up since then and aren't still tricking people into getting you pregnant. That is just ignorant. You are so lucky he stuck around after that.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:59 PM on Jun. 11, 2009

  • The damage has been done for sure and I hope your son doesn't grow up resenting you for it. Tell your son to write his dad .Now is a good time bc of Father's Day. If he's too young to write then help him send a card. Maybe you should send a letter of apology telling them you know you caused problems but don't want your child hurt bc of your actions. Ask him if he and his wife can find it in their heart to allow the son back in and you will behave yourself and stay out of their life. It's a fixable thing. They sound like good people. Let's hope it's not too late, for your son's sake.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 4:11 PM on Jun. 11, 2009

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