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relationship advice!!!!! please help

how can i forget my husbands past....i cant do it i have tried everything and cant do it...i just want to give up on my relationship but i have 2 kids but i am getting verry depressed and just dont know what to do....please help...

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jesslovesyou08

Asked by jesslovesyou08 at 7:04 PM on Jun. 11, 2009 in Relationships

Level 16 (2,704 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • what about the past is it you cant get past? relationships, cheating?
    desperateat48

    Answer by desperateat48 at 7:06 PM on Jun. 11, 2009

  • If you honestly feel that you and your kids would be better off without him than leave, do what will make you happy and also whats best for your kids
    Breezy1988

    Answer by Breezy1988 at 7:07 PM on Jun. 11, 2009

  • I take it you just discovered something about your husband you didn't know? I am not sure what it is and you're definately at your right to say or not to say specially if it's really private. The only advice I can give you is..well from personal experience...I have discovered things about my husband that I didn't know as well and I thought we were best friends (together for almost 11 years). It is really hard to forgive and forget and some people are quick to jump off the marriage wagon..sometimes in different cases is the right thing to do. It wasn't for me or my husband. So I take it one day at a time..some things will always stay in your mind, the how could he, why would he do this to me, I am good to him and so forth..however if you want the marriage to work you have to learn to be willing to give a little trust...maybe not all at once but step by step. good luck
    LuvmyFam6

    Answer by LuvmyFam6 at 7:10 PM on Jun. 11, 2009

  • I agree with the above!!! I think its common to find things u didn't know! And it usually hurts like hell!!! Were women were gonna replay it over and over again! Esp when there's a lot on our plate already! It seems to never go away and heaven forbid u have free time its like ur brain kicks into overdrive!! I'm working on the similar myself and time is starting to heal!!! But if time isn't helping and uve tried talking I'm thinking maybe time to seperate and see if being without him is truly what u want!
    sweetstkissez22

    Answer by sweetstkissez22 at 7:28 PM on Jun. 11, 2009

  • Ok, here's the deal when you do that. You give power and control of your life over something that happened in the past and that you cannot undo. It's over. Unless it was something like he killed his last four wives and you are concerned he'll do it again you have to let it go and quit cheating your family out of the love and attention you should be giving them. If you think you or your children will be harmed then get out. If he cheated...is she worth your time? Is she worth you cheating your family out of attention? If it gets too bad then get some counseling but I had to let go of a lot of crap bc my children were being cheated out of love while I carried all that anger around. I had to stop and focus on them. I was a much happier person when I let it go. Whatever it is, it's not worth all this power it has over your life.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 7:37 PM on Jun. 11, 2009

  • What type of past are we talking about? Things he did while you were together or thing she did before you two became a couple? If its before yall got together then thats not fair to him at all. We all make mistakes, you aren't perfect, nor am I. To not forgive someone for something that wasnt even done against you, is wrong. If it is something that he did while yall were together, YOU have to decide at some point that you are done holding on to it. No one can let go but you.
    abbynzachsmommy

    Answer by abbynzachsmommy at 8:06 PM on Jun. 11, 2009

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