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How do I explain to my husband that I really do not care for his son.

Okay... I really do love him. I just don't like him. I do stuff for him and take care of him. However he is rude, disrepectful and is only nice if he wants something. He has been very mean to me since the marriage. When I was only dating his dad he was a sweet kid. Once I married him he changed. He even has made racist comments around me. Maybe that is what made me sour on him. (I am Black, Hubby is white.) He just makes my skin boil because I know he feels deep down that whites are better. Everyone is entitled to their opinion but why should I be subjected to it. I always am polite but deep down I feel like this child has burnt his bridges with me. He is 16 almost 17 and I feel he should know better. I know I will upset my DH. Maybe I should just live with it since he will move out soon.

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Asked by Anonymous at 8:38 PM on Jun. 11, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (15)
  • he thinks you took he's dad away from him talk to your husband about it

    Answer by nakita72 at 8:40 PM on Jun. 11, 2009

  • that child is pretty much a grown man at that age. Just ignore his ignorance for he doesn't know any better. I would start by telling my husban about my discomforts. i would say i dont like his son i would tell him the things that i dont like about his son and have him try to address the problem. his son needs to ralize you are is fathers wife not his so what ever he may think of you is irrelavant

    Answer by Myni at 8:42 PM on Jun. 11, 2009

  • don't say you don't like the kid, that won't go well. say he has been hurting your feelings with racist comments and you don't know how to handle it. maybe he needs some cultural diversity experiences or boot camp

    Answer by staciandababy at 8:42 PM on Jun. 11, 2009

  • In a way it is your fault bc as soon as he started to act different you should have done something about it and have told your dh.

    But to answer your question don't say a word just hang in there bite your tongue for now he will soon be 18 and long gone. (Hopefully)

    Your dh married you for a reason he loves you for you, so don't ever let him see or know how you really feel about his son...all that boy needs is a good old fashioned case solved. Just consintrate on you and your dh and continue to be the sweet person that you are it will all work out in the end. Keep your chin up.


    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 8:46 PM on Jun. 11, 2009

  • Don't tell your husband you don't like him, and start trying to like him. But, do tell your husband about the racial comments, that is completely unacceptable and your husbands job to teach him so.

    Answer by onethentwins at 8:47 PM on Jun. 11, 2009

  • Talk to your husband about how you feel and maybe you should let the son know that you love him (even if you don't like him). Sometimes its hard when your parent gets remarried when you're a kid. He'll grow out of it.

    Answer by lowencope at 8:48 PM on Jun. 11, 2009

  • Don't EVER tell your husband that you don't like his kid!! I would bring up the racial comments though.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:49 PM on Jun. 11, 2009

  • Does your husband know about the racial comments?

    Answer by Tawanda74 at 9:11 PM on Jun. 11, 2009

  • I would say you don't like the kid's behavior, not him. You need to talk to your husband and let him know how much this hurts you and he needs to form a plan that punishes the child, and gives you your dignity regarding such a touchy subject. He is way out of line to use racial aspects against you and he is old enough to be held accountable for his actions. He may be jealous or hurt, but this is not ok. I think your husband will support you for sure! I would say don't give up, but there is a lot of work to do. I'm sorry you are so hurt. It must be so hard. I hope it gets better--talk to your husband first.


    Answer by Teachermom01 at 9:36 PM on Jun. 11, 2009

  • my husband came out and told me one day that he doesn't care for my oldest son. there is no easy way to do just do it and explain why. i was not to surprised cause lars can be negative a lot of the time which kinda gets on my nerves too. i bet your husband would understand. he should know though so maybe the child could be talked too. i often times live my boys with him alone.

    Answer by melody77 at 9:38 PM on Jun. 11, 2009

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