Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Gettin Lonely as a SAHM

I quit my job 3 months ago to be a stay at home mom. It's really great, I love being home to watch my little one grow up, I don't miss working at all.
But lately I've noticed that nobody comes around anymore. None of my friends seem to have time for me.
Did anyone else seem to lose friends when they became a mom?

My own husband is always gone. Today he got off work early and went up the river to one of his buddy's houses. Didn't even come home to see us.
I feel hurt that he didn't want to come spend time with his family.
Am I overreacting?
Please no bashing.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:06 PM on Jun. 11, 2009 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • Aww me and well my "friend" talked about this...you really find out who your real friends are when you have a family...you lose the old ones..but on the upside you may find ones from your past or new people all together..i found a lot of the girls i went to school with five years ago that have kids found me on Myspace or whatever and wanna go somewhere with our kids to just hang out and have normal mom talk!!! you grow apart from people that dont have kids usually...they talk about drinkin and goin out..or doin other things and what do SAHMs talk about...i changed FIVE diapers already, he spit up on me, im stressed...i take it were not as much fun!! LOL...we become consumed and sometimes forget what a normal convo is!! so we find comfort in each other...i just lost my BEST FRIEND well i feel like, she just grew so far apart from me, i barely hear from her ne more, she visits sometimes, and loves my son..but its SOO depressing
    sweetstkissez22

    Answer by sweetstkissez22 at 10:18 PM on Jun. 11, 2009

  • Nope. You are not overreacting. Reading that was like reading something from life! lol.
    Krystal.Ingalls

    Answer by Krystal.Ingalls at 10:07 PM on Jun. 11, 2009

  • I am having one of those day's too. Most of our friends live across state so I dont see them. Then my husband came home a hour late, spent a hour playing with baby and then went to be with his friends. It made me feel really lonely. I think it's just a natural thing to happen though, feeling lonely while being a sahm. It's a totally different life than being a working gal.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:09 PM on Jun. 11, 2009

  • I quit my job 4 months ago and I am going through the same thing. I have found that its hard because me and my work friends don't have the same things in common anymore. They talk about work and I talk about kids. Or maybe I feel insecure that I am not as interesting as I used to be. Cafe Moms has helped, I feel like I have comrauderie. Husbands don't always understand that you have been home waiting for them to come home because you have had no adult interaction all day :)
    jljeni

    Answer by jljeni at 10:16 PM on Jun. 11, 2009

  • My DH is deployed. ..and i have only 2 friends that i very rarely see.
    outstandingLove

    Answer by outstandingLove at 10:29 PM on Jun. 11, 2009

  • We have all been there, its a huge adjustment. I do think you should talk with your hubby now about how you feel before you get too upset and can not rational about it. I have a bad habit of letting things fester and by the time I tell my hubby about it I am soo upset. He always says, you should have said something earlier. I am working on this. I think us Mom's become martyrs and try and make everyone happy. Hang in there, like anything else, you will get better at staying at home the longer you are there. Join playgroups, book clubs, get out there and connect. Also, talk to your hubby soon- just some advice from a recovering "poor me- I am lonely" addict. I am sure you will be just fine!
    teampalmer4

    Answer by teampalmer4 at 10:35 PM on Jun. 11, 2009

  • None of my long time friends had kids when I started. Once I had my children I never saw anyone because my family was such a big part of my life and my old buds just couldn't relate and I don't think they wanted to. I met a few Moms at parks, the local community center, etc. but where I really cultivated new pals was when my kids entered school. You have a lot in common, see them every day at pickup and dropoff, etc...things will improve, hang in there. In the meantime, do something that you really like to do (arts, starbucks, walks, etc). Re: husband. He probably just took advantage of the nice day and needed a quick break with pals too. I wouldn't be too resentful unless he makes a habit of it. They need time away too. : )
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 10:52 PM on Jun. 11, 2009

  • yup, it happens all the time. Ppl seem too busy to hang anymore. Hubby finds time to do whatever he wants and there a mom sits all alone. Try to make plans to get out. Make plans and tell dad to come get you and do things together. Lots of men have to be told to come home and help and spend time at home. They seem to think moms call staying at home "fun" not work. Enlighten him!
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:45 AM on Jun. 12, 2009

  • You need to get out and meet moms like you. Go to parks at different times of the day to have the opportunity to meet a variety of moms.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 11:19 AM on Jun. 12, 2009

close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN