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My daughter is about to turn 4 and is afraid of pooping on the potty but peepees just fine, any advice?

My daughter is very smart for her age. She understands that she needs to go poop and pee on the potty. But she's been having problems with constipation off and on ever since she was 1 and now has a complex about pooping and holds it in. She'll peepee on there just fine and knows that she gets 1 sticker if she pees and 2 stickers plus a gummy bear if she goes poop. But she is still afraid and just will not go. The doctor says that she'll just have to grow out of it but she's almost 4 now and I'm just wondering if there's any way to help her with her complex about pooping. It breaks my heart that she is afraid of pooping when it hurts her to hold it in. If anyone has any advice about getting her over her complex about pooping please let me know. I've tried everything I can think of.

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Asked by Joder17 at 10:46 PM on Jun. 11, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (6)
  • I know exactly how you feel. My son turns 4 this weekend and he just recently started pooping in the potty. He finally just did it one day..about 2 weeks ago. Now he goes almost every time. Dont worry, it will come.

    Answer by angie_david at 10:50 PM on Jun. 11, 2009

  • We went to the dollar store and picked out the little a package of squirt guns, some little dolls, matchbox type cars...and put them in a plastic bag on a handle. Whenever she went in and actually did a BM on the potty she got to pick a toy from the goody bag. It was very cost effective and was a bit different than the M&Ms we gave her for going pee and within a couple of weeks she was completely done with the potty training. Best of luck to you! She will do it...I remember feeling so frustated and helpless..but one day it just seemed to click...or rather "plop"...LMBO. (sorry, couldn't resist)

    Answer by MansfieldMomma at 10:53 PM on Jun. 11, 2009

  • My little girl would cry and say she didn't want to see it come out. she was 4 years and 2 months when she was trained to poop, she had been peeing since she was 22 months. We tried it all, she is so smart and strong willed. She would not be bribed, scolded, rewarded or otherwise. My friend told me her daughter was the same way, and she just got up one day and decided to do it, and she did. So I kept panties on my little girl, encouraged, but kind of let it go for a few months, and one day she did it and she never had an accident again.

    Answer by pat7879 at 11:13 PM on Jun. 11, 2009

  • Just so you know, it also was very difficult for me. My daughter was around 4 when she would go without crying and working herself into a tizzy. The most difficult thing for me was needing to be somewhere and having to stay home for literally hours while she would try off and on to use the restroom. Has she had trouble having BMs in the past when she was an infant? Maybe if you give her something to help it along...some extra fresh fruit, a small amount of prune juice or some raisins. My doctor told me that my oldest held it in because she had such difficulty in the first place and that caused more stress when i was trying to potty train her. That is why we gave the little goody bag a try. Took a couple weeks, but eventually all seemed to work out and she just understood and was able to go in and do her thing. Good luck to you

    Answer by MansfieldMomma at 12:40 AM on Jun. 12, 2009

  • Hi there. We had the same problem and tried awards/natural consequences but it never worked. We talked to the dr. about it and he recommended we see a pediatric GI specialist. She said we had issues. She was distended and holds a lot of poop in her intestines. She could no longer feel the poop coming out and would get skid marks. So we had to make it easier for her to poop. Now... this is what our dr. told us and of course you'd have to go to yours. But she has us clean our daughter out about every 3 months with an over the counter laxative that has to be done on the weekend. It's called magnesium carboxide (or something very similar, that's not it exactly). We do this on a weekend. Then we are on MiraLax with a small glass of apple juice daily. Been like this for 7 months, under doctor care, and we've seen a night/day improvement on her going poop.

    Answer by lynnard at 10:46 AM on Jun. 12, 2009

  • it is not uncommon for a child to be affraid to poopy in the potty. Most children think of their poopy as part of themself and they dont want to let it go and then flush it. What you need to do is try and explain to her that is is icky stuff that can make her very sick and the only way to prevent herself from becomming sick is to poopy in the potty and flushing it. If she has an accident in her pants put the poopy into the potty and let her wave goodbye to it. Make it kind of like a fishy funeral. After a while she will become more accepting to the fact that it is just something she will have to part with because it actually isnt part of her at all.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:13 AM on Jun. 14, 2009

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