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Anyone had a husband who went through the "itch" and you let him go? How did it end up?

My husband is going through it, and it's really hurtful. It's been pretty rocky for a while, but I can't make him stop, only he can. I do love him and have fought to make us happy, but he's just not willing. He takes me and our life together for granted and has been selfish this whole time. He's developed a "lust for the single life" for the past few months and it's getting to his head. I can tell he's getting too wrapped up in thinking this, and I know it's not the right life for him. I'm good to him, and I've tried compromising everything, but it's one-sided. As much as I don't want to let him go, I don't want to be the kind of woman I pity, and that's a woman who allows herself to be treated bad for the man she loves who in return, doesn't love her back. If you've been through this (let him go),What happened with your life? and what happened with his?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:00 PM on Jun. 11, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • Way to go Mom!!!!!! It is more difficult as mother to ask...what does he do for my life? Stick to it and be assertive and eventually it will work out right.
    One of my fav. quotes...~Things are always better in the end....if it's not better then it's not the end~
    Good luck hun
    alexandersmom03

    Answer by alexandersmom03 at 11:50 PM on Jun. 11, 2009

  • Hun, hes enjoying a new found freedom..but im sorry that will get old...trying to find a new woman every day to come home with, finding friends with time, going out all the time..its all a blast but really how long can it last...he'll probably regret his choices, maybe not. sounds like youve given up too much of yourself already..time to pick ur chin up and start rebuilding...not too sure if he DESERVES a woman like you..and you need to make sure he knows that..if your so willing to have him back, what has he learned? NOTHING!
    sweetstkissez22

    Answer by sweetstkissez22 at 11:05 PM on Jun. 11, 2009

  •     Maybe I am not qualified to answer this...My SO went through the "itch" 3x before we got pregnant...the last being me getting pregnant.
           What I have observed is that he always came back...the question is...will you let him? There are so many quotes and ideas and my personal philosophy is...
          When is enough enough? If you "let him go" will you always resent what he does during that time, in essence will it still be "cheating" to you?
        If you can not accept the fact that he was able to be on his own without you (not in a relationship) and can not sleep without dreaming of these other "activities" then it will not work.
         Really you have to ask yourself...if he cheated on me, would I be able to take him back and still be happy! In the end...only you can make you happy...never give up too much of yourself so that you do not recognize yourself!
    alexandersmom03

    Answer by alexandersmom03 at 11:13 PM on Jun. 11, 2009

  • I understand what you're saying, but I wasn't planning on taking him back. He's been leaving and coming back for the longest now. But yes, even with that said, I am still having a hard time accepting it because this is not what I wanted, but I can't let him be like this to me or our children.
    In my heart I want nothing less than to make it work, but he is his own person and he has his desires that I can't change. I can't make him want this like me, I've done tried. If I let him go I wouldn't take him back. I'm tired of taking him back, and I'm sick of him saying he wants this, but in reality he still wants this "other life" and I think it's time for him to let go of one or the other and stick with it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:20 PM on Jun. 11, 2009

  • Okay...ask yourself....is your life better with or without him????

    If he is gone yeah...it will be sad and tough but will it get better and surpass what you and your children experience now?

    Sit down with him and let him know in no uncertain terms that if he "walks out that door" there is no turning back! And as with your children....do not give in....if you say it is done then it IS! Taking him back once will turn into 2xs, 3xs, etc....

    Really it a question you need to ask yourself...how much can you take?
    alexandersmom03

    Answer by alexandersmom03 at 11:26 PM on Jun. 11, 2009

  • Thank You. That makes perfect sense, and I have enabled him by allowing him to come back. It's made him not take it seriously, and use me to fall back on because he thinks I will keep giving him chances, and I did think about those questions. It would be better for me and my children if he left. His problems will no longer be ours, but they will be his, and he won't be able to make them ours anymore.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:39 PM on Jun. 11, 2009